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Staring death in the face: Former MTSU catcher Hicks opens up about addiction





He sat at a Little League baseball field one night with a loaded gun in his mouth in April, 2010.

He didn’t pull the trigger.

He sat at the same Little League field the following night with the same loaded gun in his mouth ready to end it all again.

For some reason, he didn’t pull the trigger.

Devine intervention, Jamie Hicks claims.

“I hit rock bottom in April, 2010,” Hicks said. “I was doing field work at the local Little League field and I was picking up trash just to feed my addiction. Two nights in a row with a pistol in my hand and the barrel in my mouth, I was ready to go, but the Good Lord wouldn’t let me do it.”

So, how did this former Donelson Christian Academy, MTSU standout and Atlanta Braves minor league catcher, who seemingly had it all, get to this point?

Only Hicks knows, and it was a long and destructive path which he doesn’t hide from and is willing to acknowledge.

Hicks was a standout football and baseball player at DCA and ultimately decided to play baseball at MTSU for coach Steve Peterson.

He played as a freshman and helped lead the Blue Raiders to an NCAA regional.

Good times, great memories and life lessons were part of his experience.

“I loved it,” Hicks said. “My freshman year we went to USC for a regional. The excitement over seeded the pressure. We were loose and relaxed and had nothing to lose. Just some good ol’ country boys playing ball. We just tried to go out loose and go out and play good baseball. We had a chance to win both games, but it didn’t work out.”

Like all catchers who played under Peterson, Hicks was expected to call his own game — a task, Hicks says, allowed him the opportunity to play at the professional level.

“That was one of things when I came in was you call your own game,” Hicks said. “I remember the first day, we broke and coach Pete and coach (Ronnie) Vaughn called the catchers together. You go in thinking you’re a hotshot and bullet proof, but wow.

“We worked on blocking balls and soft hands. Coach Vaughn later handed me a piece of paper, actually at least 10 pieces of paper, about catching. It changed my whole thinking as a catcher. I took a lot of pride in calling my own game. I gave that to my former high school coach and other coaches, and I took it to the next level.”

Hicks played at MTSU all four years before landing with the Atlanta Braves organization.

“I signed as a non-drafted free agent,” Hicks said. “Jack Powel, a local scout, called me up and said they were looking for a catcher, and he told them and he told me I was their guy. They offered me a little money and said take it or go find a job.

“I was on the fast track in their organization. I went to West Palm for a couple of weeks and then got sent to Idaho Falls for a couple of weeks, and then went to Macon, Georgia, to finish out the first season.

“The next year I went to Durham (North Carolina) and we had a new ball park and the mystique of the movie (Bull Durham). That was a good time before double knee surgery. I played for the Greenville Braves and that’s where I finished up in 1997 and got released. They went on to win the Southern League championship and I did get some nice hardware out of that.”

Hicks was offered a job with the organization but declined as he thought he could still play. However, after his knee surgeries, he admits his life began to spiral out of control.

The former Blue Raider is open about his addiction and recently spoke about it in depth.

“Well, you go to college and start dibbling in the drinking a little bit,” he said. “I got into pro ball and saw the size of these guys, and back then in the early ’90s, the steroids were booming and we tried that. In 1995 I had double knee surgery and got on the pain pills and beer. Then we started dabbling with cocaine and you just kind of felt invincible.

“Right after my knee surgery, my mom and girlfriend had left and you’ve got your little groupies who follow you around and they think they’re going to hit it big with someone. I took my first and only shot of heroine one night. They found me dead the next day with the needle still in my arm in a puddle of my own puke. For some reason, the Good Lord said ‘we still want you around.’

“They gave me a couple of shots of Narcan and they said I came up swinging. After that, I pretty much stayed to the beer and cocaine. I had my best game at the plate as a professional player when I was a high as a kite. I had been up two or three days and was facing former big league pitcher Jamie Wright. I think I went 4 for 5 that night. And as an addict goes, you think more and more is better. I kept doing more and more and that was the decline of my professional career.”

Hicks admits he was “lost” after getting released by the Braves.

“I just kept falling off the wagons. I hung around one more year. When I got released is when it really hit rock bottom for me. I’ve been playing the game of baseball all of my life and now reality sets in that you’ve got to find a job, fit in the real world and I just couldn’t do it. I was about to lose everything — my job, family, wife and kids, and all because I put drugs and alcohol before everything else.”

So it was at that point Hicks decided he was going to take his own life. Hicks’ wife, Greta, had two kids (Keith and Erica) prior to marrying Hicks, and the couple have four kids — Zak, 20, twins Zayne and Zoie, 19, and Cooper, 18 — of their own.

“I hit rock bottom. I thought it would be better for my wife and my kids if I took myself out of the equation,” he said. “The Good Lord wouldn’t let me do it. The day we had the big flood in Nashville I didn’t show up for work. I didn’t call anybody and we were out of our house. I hadn’t spoken to my wife in months. My boss, Steve Tucker knew where we were staying and he sent people looking for me. They found me at our house, and I had ransacked it and tore it all to pieces. We talked for a minute and my boss asked me if he could turn me loose in an NES truck, could I give him eight hours. I said ‘no.’

“With our employee’s assistance program, I met with them that afternoon and they suggested a month in rehab, and I checked in later that day. I would honestly say other than the birth of my kids that’s the greatest experience I’ve experienced in my life.”

Hicks successfully went through the program and hasn’t had a drink, nor been tempted to, since.

“I had a gentlemen the first night I checked in. His name was John and he had a blonde ponytail and glasses. When you’re in there with detox, they come in and check your vitals every hour on the hour. This gentlemen walked in, and I was probably on a five-, six- or seven-day bender. He said, ‘son this is not a Christian-based program,’ and brought me some literature. He said this is a traditional 12-step program. But he said he was brought in to pray for me that night. He knelt down, touched my leg and prayed with me for 30 minutes. I was clear as a bell and I’ve never wanted to take a drink, take a drug or take a snort since.

“Man, we’ve battled cancer, bankruptcy. With the all the pain and suffering (the six kids) saw growing up, it was about trying to repair the damage I caused during their early childhood.”

Hicks says he takes nothing for granted and cherishes every day he has as a sober man.

“It’s a high cost for low living is the phrase that always stuck with me,” Hicks said. “Before you love somebody you have to love yourself. It took a long time for me to realize and live it. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror.

“Today, I wake up every morning, I pray and I’m proud to look at what I’ve become. I go to work and can’t wait to come home and see my family.”

Many addicts’ stories don’t end like Hicks’, but fortunately for him, family time has been the ultimate fun time for 11 sober years.

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