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WOODY: Snobby celebrities needing a major dose of reality

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If you’re like me you’ve probably had trouble sleeping here lately, worrying about the terrible ordeals confronting some of our Beautiful People.

More and more of Hollywood’s rich & famous are complaining about being hounded by paparazzi anytime they show their beautiful mugs in public.

The poor things.

Actress Halle Berry pitched a hissy over having her picture snapped as she walked down the street. I caught Ms. Berry’s performance with Billy Bob Thornton in a movie called “Monster’s Ball” and she certainly didn’t seem camera-shy in some of those lens-fogging scenes.
A bodyguard for Justin Bieber got so angry at a photographer that he punched him. Turned out it was all a mistake -- the photographer was simply taking a mug shot of the Bieb down at the police station.
Alex Baldwin is famous for taking swipes at cameramen who get in his way. He wants to be left alone to pursue his rarified cinematic art -- and also to shamelessly shill for a credit card outfit.

I’m always amused by celebrities’ fine whine. They want to be fawned over, pampered, idolized and adored by the public when it’s to their advantage -- at the box office, for example, or when preening and parading on the Red Carpet -- then be treated like Joe Sixpack and Wanda Wafflehouse when they don’t want to be bothered.

The other night I came across a woman in tears on one of those entertainment channels. I stopped to see what was the matter -- I thought maybe her dog had got run over, or her double-wide had been repossessed.

But no, she was a Major Hollywood Celebrity, blubbering about how wretched her life has been made by the pesky paparazzi. She said she couldn’t dart from her mansion to her Rolls without having to stiff-arm her way through a pack of pesky paparazzi.

Well, here’s a news flash for her: I had no idea who she was. She should have been flattered that a photographer recognized her.

Can even celebrities be that dense? Do they think they can be big-time movie stars, yet not draw a stare or cause a stir when they appear in public. Or are they simply that aloof from reality?

They demand to be paid millions of dollars to have the public gaze at them on the screen, but don’t want to be bothered by the unwashed masses in real life.

If the Hollywood fakes and flakes REALLY want to be treated like an average person, they could try living like one. If Britney Spears want to duck the photographers, she can work the night shift at the Pizza Hut. No paparazzi will ambush her when she goes out to swab the grease trap.

And if Alex Baldwin is fed up with the public glare, perhaps he should hire on with a roofing company. Let him carry 50-pound slabs of shingles up a two-story ladder, shivering in the winter and sweltering in the summer.

Or Alex could pull a shift on a factory blast furnace as I did for a couple of summers while working my way through school. (Working one’s way through school -- another novel concept.) I don’t recall any paparazzi lurking around the blast furnace.

Most so-called celebrities are petted, pampered and protected to the point that they have no clue about real life outside their insulated little make-believe bubble. I doubt that Cher could order a Big Mac at a drive-thru.

Let those over-priced prima donnas try dealing with the hardships and aggravations of ordinary life -- from traffic snarls and back-breaking jobs, to overdue rent and late payments on an old clinker that won’t start.

If they did, they’d quickly discover that there’s much worse things in life than getting their picture taken.

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celebrities, complain, halle berry, justin bieber, larry woody, paparazzi
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Members Opinions:
April 25, 2014 at 11:37am
First let me commend the online content editor for catching the typo in the headline, since the printed edition reads "does" instead of "dose" (sorry, a pet peeve of mine). My other pet peeve is when a writer, whether it be a professional or just your ordinary human being with an opinion, "assumes" certain things, without, obviously, zero facts or experience to back up their opinions. Please allow me to try, without coming off as a sarcastic "you know what", as I sometimes do, explain what I KNOW to be facts, based on real life experiences.
Mr. Woody, it appears you harbor some deep anger towards celebrities, especially those who would like to live their lives like normal people, or rather, those who don't like their lives being interrupted by the scum of the earth paparazzi. Paparazzi are NOT fans, they're not looking for an autograph and probably, or even most definitely, don't spend any money going to any shows, movies, concerts, because they're too busy digging through the artists' garbage, camping out in front of the store he/she/they just walked in to. These money hungry, boorish and obnoxious photographers are a menace. They will knock people, including the celebrity themselves, over, just for a photo they can sell to some tabloid toilet paper for a few hundred dollars. They are the crackwhores of the entertainment industry. How do I know? I've worked in the entertainment industry for the better part of my adult life. That's almost 40 years. Yes, there are some artists (notice I say artists and not celebrities. There is a vast difference between Alec Baldwin and Kim Kardashian. Fame can get you in the door but it won't keep you in the room. But I digress. Again.) if you had any clue as to what an artist goes through to get to where they are, you would not make the statements you have in your article. They didn't pop out of the womb with an Oscar in one hand and keys to the mansion in another! Years of hard work, acting classes, living on tea and lettuce, working menial jobs (yes, probably at a factory of some sort) while they go on auditions. Enduring rejection after rejection, sexual harassment, a crime that is never tolerated in any other industry, but is rampant in the entertainment business. Becoming successful is a crapshoot. They don't "expect" to be pampered and paid millions of dollars. They have agents, managers and accountants who usually make those decisions for them. And tell me, honestly, if you got paid a couple of million dollars, would you continue to live a humble and quiet life or would you indulge in the finer things in life? Again, I agree, a lot of celebrities are complete buttheads in real life, but that doesn't give anyone a reason to be up in their faces when they're out with their children, at the park, in a restaurant. It freaks the kids out too! Do you watch movies, TV? If you do, then you would agree that entertainment is an important part of our culture, correct? What gives anyone the right to infringe on another person's private moments? If someone has the BALLS to shove a camera in Alec Baldwin's face, then Alec has the right to deck him. Sorry, disagree with you completely on that. Personally I think a lot of these celebrities show a lot of self control, because if it were me...let's just say there's not enough bail money....
I lived in Beverly Hills, took my dogs for a walk one afternoon. Lindsay Lohan was in a store, shopping. There were at least 12 photographers lined up at the back door where her car was waiting. They looked like piranhas, I asked them why they didn't go get real jobs. Guess what? They didn't speak English! Romanian, or Russian, something like that. Nasty, fat, balding and sweaty men. Imagine if Lindsay didn't have any protection? Did you see the video of the photographer who literally ran Nicole Kidman over with his bike as she walked into a NY restaurant? She was advised to press charges, but she didn't.
In closing on my "rant", I totally support the anti-paparazzi law that is on the current agenda. And I would take it one step further, if a photographer touches or otherwise harasses a person without their consent, the person should have the right to "non-violently" stop them. If videotaping a police officer when he's being a schmuck can result in having your phone taken away is legal, and you must sign a model release form to have your photos published, the same should apply to the paparazzi.
Mr.Woody, please, do some more research on this subject and put yourself in these people's shoes. Take away the money, the fame and all the glitter and they are still human beings with feelings, fears and failings. They deserve the same respect as anyone else. Again....don't ASSUME.
Oh, and I personally know Cher. She definitely knows how to order drive thru food, however, she's smart enough to not eat that garbage.
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