There ought to be a Law…Irony: When you called soccer sissy, and your son loves it on The Murfreesboro Post

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There ought to be a Law…Irony: When you called soccer sissy, and your son loves it

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By: By Stephen Lewis

Remember when you were in school and a teacher told you to define a vocabulary word in your own words? I always hated that because 1) I usually didn't know what the word meant in the first place, and 2) I didn't care enough to use my imagination to think of my own words.

I preferred the safety and reliability of the dictionary. After all, who can argue with Webster?

I also got very aggravated when I asked a teacher how to spell a word and she told me to look it up in the dictionary. Hello! Anyone home? If I could look it up in a dictionary I would already know how to spell it. Just tell me how to spell it and we can both move on.

Today teachers encourage inventive spelling where students spell the word by how it sounds to them. I wish that were around when I was in school. How eeze that wood haf ben!

Then I became a teacher and a parent and my life took a cruel, ironic twist. Webster defines irony as an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected. That's a pretty good definition but I think I can define it a little better in my own words and I'll try to not misspell anything.

Irony is…

When you were the class clown from elementary school through college, and then become a teacher and then the principal of a school.

When you called soccer a girly sport for 25 years, and then have a son who absolutely loves to play it.

When you have a son who reads every book placed in front of him and you have read a total of five books from beginning to end in your whole life. Three were sports-related and two were how to become a millionaire. (Writing a newspaper column for free wasn't mentioned in either of the two).

When your parents paid for you to make Cs, Ds, and the occasional F in college, and you demand your children get straight As and Bs so they can get a scholarship.

When you decry the state of today's music, and then download Fergie and Gwen Stefani on your Ipod. (Don't know Fergie or Gwen? Just ask any 12-year-old).

When you complain about your weight and poor family heart history and completely destroy the buffet at Chef Wang's.

When you complain about spoiled children, and then cut the crusts off your daughter's sandwiches.

When you spend an entire weekend loading up your junk to carry to Goodwill, and then stop by a couple of yard sales on your way home.

I certainly hope I've given you some insight into my definition of the word irony. Next week we will look into the definition of the word sarcasm in an article titled "How to be an obnoxious, narcissistic jerk and still be loved by all."

Stephen Lewis is an educator in the Rutherford County School System. A Murfreesboro resident since 1977, he graduated from Oakland High School and MTSU. His wife is an educator in the Murfreesboro City System, and they have three children, Aaron, John and Caroline.

Tagged under Stephen Lewis

Member Opinions:

By: elguapo on 4/9/07
I'll tell you what's ironic....how a person who has only read 5 books in his entire life, and these 5 being of no importance, can be employed as an educator in our county school system. My only hope is that he is being facetious.

By: deelew on 4/9/07
Umm, HELLO - yes, it's titled Irony for a reason. I am sure Mr. Lewis has read plenty of books pertaining to his education. I think he means recreational reading. Besides, he's trying to drive home a point.

By: saa on 4/10/07
Geez elguapo. Can we get off the backs of all the educators and our school system for just a minute?

By: JamieLynn on 4/12/07
Hello All! I loved this article and it made me laugh out loud, something I need to do alot more! So thank you Mr. Lewis! I'm sure your dry comedy is very appreciated by your students.

Also, I really hooted at the "soccer is for sissy's" kind of mentality. I remember my brother, who was All-American in High School in football, basketball and track; would call soccer that same thing. My sons have both played it and my 12 yr old son is highly competitve and aggressive in athletics and academics (he takes the athletic ability from my brother, the intellect from me.) Want to guess which sport he loves to play as it so competetive and athletically challenging? Yes, soccer! ;) We've even been to the physician for my son getting kicked in the neck, etc., and all the while I'm thinking.."I kept him out of football so he wouldnt get hurt like his uncle and now we're having to look if he has a hairline fracture on his spine?? " (Thankfully, he is fine- no fracture- so he's once again playing intense goaly for his school team.) Yes, irony is a way of getting a good, swift kick in the rear, but at least we can laugh about it.

By: snook on 4/13/07
Personally, I thoroughly enjoyed Mr. Lewis' thoughts.
I'm looking forward to his next essay.
He sounds like my kind of guy.

By: Boo on 4/13/07
I loved it too, Mr. Lewis. Am waiting for the next one also. My dad used to tell a story about a friend of his that was in the army. Went through Basic, spent two years over seas in war, never got a scratch on him. Friend came home, walked across his yard, tripped on his hose pipe, fell and broke his ankle in three places. My dad never tired of kidding his buddy about that! Hurry with your next article, we all need another good laugh.