| Stephen Lewis: Still avoiding change in 2010 |
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Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2009 7:42 am
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So another year has come and gone. And with it brings an end to the first decade in the 21st century depending on whether you count the year 2000 as the first year in the new millennium. Either way it's hard to believe we're about to enter 2010. Sounds like a great title for a movie or novel.
I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or just how things work but it seems like each year everything around me changes more than the first 35 years I was alive. The pressure to adapt, or cave in, depending on how you look at it, has become almost unbearable. But there are a few things that I've been able to avoid and hope to for the rest of my life. Although the world around me is screaming to give in, I hold out and carry the torch as a symbol of the 21st century "rugged individualist."
Take technology for instance. I have not nor do I plan to ever send one of these things called a "text message." I've seen my wife and sons sit for hours texting back and forth to someone and wanted to scream "just pick up the *@#& phone and call them!" Or better yet, "just drive over and go see them!" And texting is not just for the young. At a red light recently I saw a woman who was 125 years old if she was a day texting away. I'm thinking, this woman was alive before the toaster was invented, and she's doing something on a cell phone I have no clue how to do. I grew up on Pop-tarts and she remembers when they didn't even exist. Something is bad wrong with this picture.
Twittering? Sounds pornographic to me. But apparently it has to do with keeping anyone who wants to know up to date with everything from who you're dating to your most recent bowel movements. I just had one 30 minutes ago. A bowel movement that is. Not a date. Did I just twitter? I hope my wife doesn't find out.
And what's up with everyone doing everything on line nowadays? Newspaper subscriptions are down because everyone is reading the paper on-line. Not me. I want the black ink on my hands when I'm through so it looks like I've accomplished something when I'm done. Maybe that's just the "real man" in me. And when I want to buy something I go to the store. That's right, when I want a Pepsi I walk in, pick it up and pay for it. I don't go online to Pepsi.com and order one.
What's the story on all these energy drinks being sold these days? Are we less energetic than we used to be? When I need energy I go to the fridge and get out some leftover beans and cornbread. I've got so much energy I've got it blowing out my backside. The wife even agrees to turn the heat off and crack the bedroom window to let some of the energy out.
To wrap it up let me say that for another year I've avoided buying any pants described as "low rise." For another year my hair has avoided any type of mousse, gel or styling product that was never meant for men in the first place. And I'm proud to say that not one of the five vehicles owned by my family has the stupid little stick people families that are so popular now. I thought nothing could be as obnoxious as the cartoon character Calvin peeing on a Ford emblem, but I was wrong.
So have a great 2010 my friends. And remember sometimes life isn't about adapting to change so much as it is avoiding change! A special good-bye from my family to the Kassebaum family. Caroline will miss her sweet friend Emma and I'll miss a dedicated reader!
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