We are dangerously close to a very scary time in America. It comes around regularly but it doesn’t make it any less scary. I’m speaking of course about the period of time in between the end of football season and the beginning of baseball season. Millions of American men will be forced to reconnect with their wives and children for the next two months. Fortunately for me, I enjoy NASCAR racing and that starts shortly after the Super Bowl so I’m good. But for those who don’t enjoy watching cars make left turns it can be pretty frightful.
Every year most of us football fans end up short of our team winning the championship. Unless of course you are a college football fan and then you can celebrate your team’s victory in the Acme Flange and PVC Pipe Bowl. But if you follow a pro team, you know there can be only one Super Bowl winner. And, although my Dolphins once again came up short, I can take some solace in the fact that I won’t have to listen to Titans fans gloat endlessly for another year.
In fact, I’m so happy I wrote a little poem to commemorate the occasion. In memory of one of the greatest authors in children’s literature, I have aptly titled my writing: “How the Ravens Stole Christmas.”
Every fan down in Titan-ville liked the Titans alot.
But the Ravens who lived just northeast of Titan-ville, did not.
The Ravens hated the Titans. The whole football team.
And laughed when the Titans spoke of their Super Bowl dream.
The Ravens all snickered when the Titans fans roared.
As Crumpler fumbled away a sure Titans’ score.
And let’s not forget the field goal that missed.
You could tell Coach Fisher was getting pretty pi...mad. (Sorry Dr. Seuss, this is a family paper).
As the 2000 game replayed in their heads,
The Titans fans could feel the oncoming dread.
They asked, “What is this power the Ravens have over us?”
Instead of cheers, you could hear the fans cuss.
And then with a whimper the season came to an end,
These first round loses have become quite a trend.
As the Ravens kick sailed so straight and so true,
All the Ravens fans screamed yes, and Titans fans cried boo, hoo!
So remember Titans faithful,
I’m just being playful.
Don’t blame me when I act like a spoiler,
It’s ‘cause you’re really just the old Houston Oilers!
Here’s to a great off-season. Enjoy the wife and kids for a while. And if anyone sees my family, do me a favor, and tell them I love them. I would but I’m getting ready for the Daytona 500.
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