| Stephen Lewis: Insurance should offer “Foot in Mouth” policy |
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By: STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
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Posted: Monday, December 15, 2008 11:20 am
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What a wonderful time of the year. Thanksgiving and Christmas within a month of each other, college football bowls, pro football playoffs, and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve starring that metrosexual dude from American Idol. Who could ask for anything more? Just like the song says, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
There is one thing I don’t like about the end of the year. Every year I have to meet with the insurance representative at work to review all my insurance needs. Hasn’t insurance come a long way? Insurance is cool now. Instead of a stiff guy in a suit, insurance is sold by small, talking lizards and cavemen who walk completely upright. Which is a total fantasy if what I remember learning from the Saturday morning show “Land of the Lost” was true. Of course Fred and Barney walked upright and I loved the Flintstones. What a contradiction. Who to believe?
Anyway, every year I, like all the other employees who work for our organization, have to sit down and discuss all the options available to us. I don’t mind meeting with the representative. In fact, it is always a very nice person who seems genuinely interested in my wellbeing. The problem I have is I’ve never been able to say no to these salespeople. Going into this year’s meeting I already had a life insurance policy, accidental death policy, double indemnity policy, cancer policy, heart attack policy, torn rotator cuff policy, tonsillectomy policy, and a fall-down-the-stairs policy that pays my medical bills if I fall down more than three flights of stairs at one time.
Perhaps I’m overly cautious but I live by the adage “it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Plus, since the premiums are deducted straight from my check it’s not like I really miss the money anyway. Insurance companies always try to make it easy for us to be safe.
This year the insurance rep had some new offerings he thought I might be interested in. For instance, for just $2.54 a month I purchased a kidney stone policy. This policy pays me cash if I pass a kidney stone larger than 2 millimeters in diameter. The rep showed me a marble that was 2 mm in diameter. I’ve never had a kidney stone and don’t know much about them, but if what he said is true about how you pass one, I figured I better get the policy just to cover the broken windows in our house from my screams if I ever do pass one.
I don’t know if you get cold sores/fever blisters like I do but they can be a real ... pain. For only $1.85 a month I’m covered if I am ever hospitalized due to fever blisters. Up to this point I’ve never had to go to the hospital for one but I have had some that made me want to wear one of those Phantom of the Opera masks.
Hopefully you and your family have a Merry Christmas. My family will all be receiving insurance policies in their stockings this year. I just wish I could find an insurance company that offers a policy for the one disease I seem to suffer from the most lately. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s called “Foot in Mouth” disease. |
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Member Opinions:
By: justdance on 12/15/08
:)
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