| Stephen Lewis: Hey, Vince. Want to trade my job/life for yours? |
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By: STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
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Posted: Sunday, September 14, 2008 7:24 am
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Would everybody please get off Vince’s back! I mean really, there’s been more coverage of Tennessee Titan’s quarterback Vince Young around here than of the presidential race. Everybody from the most rabid Titans fan to the casual observer of football has an opinion of Vince’s performance so far this year and his supposed knee injury. Most of the criticism is normal for NFL players and especially quarterbacks, but now Vince has gotten his feelings hurt so I guess it’s crossed the line.
Now, I know as little about Vince as I do most topics I write about but I won’t let that stop me from giving my opinion of the situation. But I do think it’s important to go back and see what has led up to this most recent meltdown. And to do that I suppose we need to go back to Vince’s high school days.
I’m assuming that Vince was the top athlete in his high school. We all know how hard it is to be the best jock in school and date all of the most beautiful girls. We also know how tough it can be to never worry about whether anyone wants to hang around us or what other people think of us. Of course I don’t know about those things since I could barely walk down the halls without falling down, girls cringed when I used my patented “What’s up?” pick up line, and the only friends I had were the guys who were bigger losers than me. But hey, I’m sure Vince had it rough, too.
After high school Vince signed a scholarship to play for the University of Texas. What a total drag! Being the most popular person on a campus with 30,000-plus students has to be a total bummer. And all of those college girls giddy with excitement when he walked by must have really depressed him. I know exactly what that’s like.
Actually I know what the exact reverse of that is. Try being totally invisible to every girl on campus. Once while leaning up against the wall outside Peck Hall, I had a girl put 50 cents in my mouth because she thought I was a Coke machine. That, my friends, is not being noticed. But don’t let me downplay Vince’s experience in college. I’m sure it wasn’t all peaches and cream.
And then the Coup de Gras; Vince is drafted by the Titans with their No. 1 pick. All of the problems he has had up to this point are compounded by the fact that he now makes $10 million a year. Oh, the humanity! I’ve got it bad enough with what I make, which is probably what Vince makes in one quarter of a game, I can’t imagine how miserable my life would be if I was forced to take $10 million a year.
Being chauffeured around in Hummers and Escalades. Never having to pay for meals or shoes or drinks or just about anything. Why, oh why, was this horrible existence thrust upon poor Vince. Can’t everyone see how horrific it would be to have to live this way? At least I don’t have to worry about the upkeep on my 260,000-mile Chevy Lumina. You never have to worry about getting your doors dinged by the person parked next to you when you’re not sure the door will stay on the next time you close it.
And then to have to put up with the booing of 20,000 drunken Titans’ fans when he stinks up the place is just too much to handle. He pulled the only card he had left which was to fake a knee injury. Maybe the next time I’m chasing down an unruly kindergartner, I’ll fall down and grab my knee. Perhaps Vince and I will have something in common. And since our lives are so much alike maybe Vince can answer this question for me: “Hey Vince, wanna trade?”
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