| Stephen Lewis: Haven’t you heard of the digital TV conversion? |
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By: STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
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Posted: Sunday, June 21, 2009 7:34 am
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How many TVs do you have in your house?
At the Lewis house we have four. That seems like a lot but I figure that’s probably about average for a family of five. My favorite TV is the one we have on top of our fridge. It’s got, maybe, a four-inch screen but it's perfect for listening to the news or watching the Simpson’s on the days I cook dinner. So imagine my disgust when a couple of days ago I plan on spending some quality time with Marge and Homer while cooking up a little Cheeseburger Macaroni Hamburger Helper and I can’t get any channels to come in.
I must have fiddled with that thing for an hour. It’s one of those TV/radio combination things your parents got you 25 years ago when you graduated high school and seemed really cool at the time. How it lasted this long is amazing to me but also very frustrating that it picked this particular day to go out. I called a neighbor to see if his TV reception was messed up. It was all very strange considering my other TVs were just fine.
Then the neighbor came over and said he knew what was wrong. “Haven't you heard of the ‘digital conversion’ that just took place?”
“Di-ju-tul kahn-vur-shun, what's that?” He then explained that all analog TVs had to be replaced by digital TVs or they would no longer work.
You can imagine how furious I was! I began to make some calls. How dare the U.S. government make such a transition and not inform its citizens. Seriously, how about running some commercials on TV? How about some ads in newspapers and magazines? Maybe even some mailouts just to give us a chance to get ready. I may still have 11 cases of canned peaches and 15 assorted cases of potted meat and vienna sausages left over from the Y2K scare but at least I had about five years of warning for that. I had a hole halfway to China dug in my backyard that my family could have lived in for a year if the computers had raised up against us.
I like to follow the chain of command so I started off small. The first person I contacted was my state senator. No need to bother the president if this can be handled on the local level. Besides, I think it's important for those who represent me get a fair shot at fixing my problem. After reaching my state senator's office and being snickered at for five minutes, I decided to ratchet it up a notch. Somebody was going to take me seriously even if it was the CIA dragging me out of a tent outside the gates at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Long story short, after multiple calls to several government officials, I finally found someone who could help. Unfortunately it was someone called “my cable provider” who was willing to, as my friend calls it, “break it off in me” and hook up my four-inch television to cable for the low, low price of $150. For a TV I watch 30 minutes a week. Thanks but no thanks.
So with no warning at all a perfectly good TV sits useless on top of my fridge. A grim reminder of what used to be. Just like the Atari 2600, the Commodore 64, Michael Jackson and the Moped. But to all those politicians out there, sitting in your cushy offices and making decisions without warning the rest of us, I say get ready to find a real job. Your time will come next election day. For I am Stephen Lewis: TV watcher and voter!!!
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