| Stephen Lewis: For 2010, No alien babies, doom or blame |
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By: STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
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Posted: Sunday, January 10, 2010 7:57 am
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Approximately three years ago the publisher and president of the Murfreesboro Post needed to decide which direction he wanted his newly started newspaper to take. Would he go the sophisticated route similar to the New York Times or take a more lowbrow approach like the National Enquirer. I suppose you could take a look at the columnists for the Post and make up your own mind. I think the decision is pretty clear.
With that in mind I will make my yearly predictions for 2010. And I promise not to predict things like the mayor having a space alien love child. Although I have heard there is one elected official who is sweating it out until some DNA results come back from a recent abduction he claimed to have.
In the world of sports many great things will happen in 2010. I predict Tiger Woods will stop dropping his balls in random holes. I did say "holes." And I meant his Titleists, not what you were thinking. Also, in an effort to streamline their recruiting both Lane Kiffin and Bruce Pearl will work closely with the warden of Riverbend Maximum Security Prison to ensure a fertile pipeline of athletes for the University of Tennessee athletic programs.
In politics the Obama administration will continue to blame any problems they have on the Bush administration. Also, any natural disasters ranging from hurricanes, to tsunamis, to random lightning strikes will be blamed on Bush. Conversely, Dick Cheney will blame anything from hijacked airplanes to his being cut off in traffic on President Obama being soft on terrorists.
Around here I predict we will almost surely have "immigrants" from up north complain about snow days. I can hear it now...(Using my best Yankee accent) "I lived in Michigan for 47 years and we never had a snow day. It snowed 58 inches and you shoveled your way to school. Youse guys get an eighth of an inch and you're out for a week!" First, I'm sure the roads leading back to Michigan or wherever are clear by now, so please by all means hit the road. We love our snow days. And second, what the *#$@ is a youse guy?
In Tennessee teachers have three favorite-weather related phrases this time of year. They are, in no particular order, "winter storm advisory," "accumulation" and my personal favorite, "black ice." I suggest all "immigrants" from snowier locales take my advice and assimilate.
In the world of technology I predict the social networking sites such as Facebook and My Space will collapse when millions of people around the country simultaneously slap their foreheads (just like in the old V8 commercials) and realize they aren't 16 years old anymore.
And my final prediction is that whether you want it or not the
Murfreesboro Post will continue to be delivered to your house every
Sunday. Except on the Sundays it's not, so don't complain because we make no guarantees on delivery. Oh, and also, the Super Bowl will be Chargers 27 Vikings 19. |
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Member Opinions:
By: justdance on 1/13/10
Happy New Year....!
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