By Stephen Lewis, Post Columnist - June 8, 2008

I don’t know about the rest of you folks, but things are getting pretty tight around the Lewis house these days. What with the price of gas and groceries going through the roof we’re barely making ends meet from one paycheck to the next.

My kids laugh at me when I wax nostalgic about the good old days. You remember the good old days, don’t you? When gas was only $2.95 a gallon. Fortunately for my family I’m pretty good with money, and I’ve made some wise investments over the years that hopefully will help us get through the lean times better than some.

A lot of people go through these fancy investment-type brokers. Not me. Instead of using a broker, I’ve been fortunate to catch on to many trends and fads in the early stages. My motto is “buy low, sell high.” That’s why I was so happy several years ago when I got in on the front end of the Beanie Baby boom. That’s right! I put some big money in the Beanies. I remember at one Beanie Baby trade show I bought three Beanies right before the lady was going to raise their price by double. I’ve always been able to make good decisions like that.

Right now I have several thousand dollars in Beanies. I’ve got Chompy the man-eating great white shark. And Stagger the drunken farmer. Oh, and my favorite, Foamy, the rabid skunk. I’m holding onto these in case my kids decide to attend an out-of-state college. It just feels good to know we’ve got something to fall back on in case the economy totally tanks. Funny, though, I haven’t been able to find the lady who sold me those Beanies in years.

But I know that with anything you have to be diversified. It would be stupid to put all my family’s savings in Beanie Babies. That’s why several years ago when my sons first begged me into buying them a $3 package of Pokemon cards I realized I could strengthen my portfolio by some shrewd investing. Can you believe I actually bought four Pikachu’s when they were only $8 a piece? What a steal! I haven’t checked the price of them lately, but you figure over the course of six to eight years even if they’ve only gained 25 percent per year I’m up pretty good. It was kind of odd the other day at a yard sale I saw a whole box of Pokemon cards for 50 cents. I just figured they didn’t know what they had.

Of course I’ve got some other smaller investments as well. I have an extensive baby soap collection I’ve gathered from hotel rooms and airplanes. And I can’t forget my matchbook collection. All I need to do is find some really big soap and match collectors and I’ve hit the jackpot.

One word of caution. Recently there was a story in the paper about a man who made a grilled cheese that looked like Mother Teresa. He sold it on eBay for $5,000. Now I’ve tried that for about six months, and all I’ve done is spend $500 on bread and cheese and gained 20 pounds. I did make one that I thought looked exactly like former Vice President Al Gore, but my wife says it was all that cheese and butter making me hallucinate. Anyway, who’s gonna pay for a grilled cheese that looks like Al other than maybe Tipper?

I hope your family makes it through these slow economic times. Just remember that nothing beats a rainy day fund. Start investing now. It’s too late to get in on Beanie Babies and Pokemon cards for most. I’m sure the prices are through the roof.

But I do have one word of advice: Webkinz. These are the stuffed animals with the interactive games you play online. I think these will be hotter than the new “Screw you over Gas Attendant Elmo” that’s due out this Christmas. Every time you stop for gas he laughs like Vincent Price in the “Thriller” video. Now if I can just unload 10,000 Jesus bobbleheads I ordered in anticipation of the opening of the Bible Park!