STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
Posted: Sunday, March 29, 2009 7:02 am

By the time you read this, I will be wrapping up the celebration of my second favorite holiday and anxiously awaiting my favorite holiday's arrival in a couple short months.

No, it's not one of those religious holidays. But this holiday is 100 percent all-American. I'm speaking, of course, about spring break. Perhaps you are saying, "Wait a minute there Lewis you crackpot. There is no such holiday as spring break."

I will admit that you won't see this holiday on most calendars. Lemme splain. You see there are various calendars throughout time. There is the Mayan calendar, the Roman calendar, and the more accurate and certainly more relevant calendar that I am speaking of referred to simply as the "Teacher calendar.” The teacher calendar has a multitude of holidays that "civilians" may not celebrate as vigorously as those of us who have been called into service do.

Notice I said spring break is my second favorite holiday.

In the teaching profession, the favorite holiday is summer. I know that summer is a season and not recognized as an "official" holiday but I implore you to remember I'm speaking from the teacher calendar and not what you may have hanging from the side of your fridge with you favorite realtor's face plastered on it.

"Civilians" may ask, "Shouldn't Christmas break be your second favorite holiday since you get two weeks off instead of just one like during spring break?" An excellent question indeed.

Actually Christmas break, or as we affectionately refer to it now, Winter break, is the third favorite holiday. Although it is a week longer than spring break it is five months away from summer whereas spring break is only two months away. Only the birth of a Messiah could make up the difference in the three months longer wait till summer. Oh, that's right, there was that whole Jesus thing wasn't there? Anyway...

And is it fair that we get time off for Christmas and not for the other religions?

How about some time off for Allah? Sure the U.S. started as a Christian nation but we are certainly much more diverse than the days of John Smith and Pocahontas.

Maybe we could start with a day off for each of the top dogs of the major religions. I think I speak for a large percentage of teachers when I say we'll celebrate just about anything we can get a day off for.

Within the last decade we've added fall break. Fall break is definitely in the Top 5. I can't believe someone didn't think of this sooner. Fall is such a wonderful time of the year that it was a shame it was so maligned by not having a quality holiday somewhere in there.

Thanksgiving you say. Well sure, there's that. But let's face it. Are you more thankful to have two or three days off or the whole week? I rest my case.

Of course there are the single day holidays that help get us to the longer breaks. There's Election Day, MLK Day, President's Day, and the occasional snow day that we see far too infrequently (thanks to all this growth and the loss of those good ol' icy country roads we used to have). These will rank in various positions depending on the individual. But they all are appreciated.

So to all the teachers and students out there, I hope you had a great spring break.

A couple more months and you'll be out by the pool, or on the couch napping, or dropping a couple paychecks at Disney World, or enjoying some other favorite activity. Not me. I'll be hard at work submitting my plan to the school board for a new break for next year's calendar that falls in early May. I call it sprummer break!