| Stephen Lewis: Boots necessary as columnist takes on female fashion |
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Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 7:05 am
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"These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!"--Nancy Sinatra
Truer words were never spoken. Everywhere I go it's boots, boots and more boots.
I have to admit I've always been intrigued by women's fashion. Don't read anything into that. It's just that I think it's fascinating how women are like herds of those water buffalo over in Africa.
Okay, bad comparison, but you get my meaning.
One buffalo jumps into the river and then hundreds follow even though they know those mean ol' crocodiles are waiting for some buffalo meat. Likewise, a few women start with the boot trend, and the next thing you know we're up to our necks in boots. And with some styles of boots on short women, that's to be taken literally.
I've followed women's fashions for 30-plus years now so I've seen this "buffalo mentality" before.
Remember the halter-tops of the ’70s? You figure maybe 2 percent of the female population should actually have been seen in halter-tops but those things were everywhere.
Everywhere except where they should have been, which was covering the rest of their upper half.
I followed with great interest the leg warmer fad of the ’80s, which was usually coupled with the extra-long sweater shirt. I don't remember the ’80s as being a particularly cold decade but with all those leg warmers it must have been a chillier time. Of course the’90s were a turbulent decade in fashion as the grunge look and, of course, parachute pants were everywhere.
Up to now, the 2000's have been known for low rise, crack exposing jeans and tops tight enough to show every fat roll.
Now as we approach the new decade it looks as though we'll be marching behind women shod in all sorts of boots.
I've seen boots that look like they belong on NFL cheerleaders and boots that belong on Santa's elves.
I've seen boots that look like it took a whole cow to make and others that took just a couple of baby seals.
I've seen boots that covered the ankle and boots that went all the way up to the crotch.
I've seen boots that looked like they belonged on a biker and boots that looked like they belonged on Nanook of the Northwest.
Which brings me to the most interesting of boot styles.
When did the women of Tennessee decide they need a boot that will protect them against minus 50-degree temperatures?
These boots look like they are made from the carcass of some Arctic animal with trim from another Arctic animal.
I'm guessing either baby harp seal or polar bear. Either way, unless we have a large population of Eskimo refugees I really see no need for this type of boot.
And if there are that many Eskimos down here then why can't I find any whale blubber or walrus tail in the meat department at Kroger?
The good thing about women's fashion is that as fast as something shows up, it's gone again.
In the blink of an eye all those boots will be piled up in yard sales or sent to the fashion graveyard known as consignment shops.
I'm working furiously on a line of shoes I think we'll be wildly popular with women this spring. It's a cross between the wooden shoes from Holland and a high heel pump. I call them Dutch Chic.
See you in the spring! |
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