By STEPHEN LEWIS

First, let me apologize for the last several weeks of columns. Due to my support of the Hollywood writers’ strike I was unable to produce any new material. Secondly, thanks to my 14-year-old son for stepping in and writing the columns for me. I’m not sure he has what it takes to be a big time journalist but he gave it a shot. Just compare the last few weeks of my column to the season in Dallas where Pam dreamed the whole season and realized it was a dream when she saw her husband Bobby, who she thought was dead, in the shower. Just like that but without you having to see me naked in the shower. Lucky you!

I suppose by now you’ve heard the big news. A beagle won for the first time at Westminster Kennel Club. This is like the Super Bowl of dog shows. In over 100 previous shows a beagle has never won. Beagle owners around the country now feel vindicated as their breed took home “Best in Show.” For at least the next year beagle owners can look down their noses at poodle owners and all those other toy breeds that usually seem to win.

My family is the proud owner of a beagle. At least he’s part beagle. We adopted him from the pound because we felt the other two dogs we had adopted haven’t sufficiently destroyed our carpet much less our backyard. So as a beagle owner I think I can give some interesting perspective on this unique breed.

Beagles are great at a lot of things. But their best skill seems to be digging. Many dogs dig to hide bones or look for varmints but beagles dig just for the joy of digging. Right now Beau (short for Beauregard) is apparently working on a shorter trade route to China. Kind of makes him like the Christopher Columbus of dogs doesn’t it. But he isn’t just working on that hole. He has several smaller ones all over the yard that he occasional goes back to. Those are probably just going to Europe or South America. He’s a regular canine Magellan.

Digging is not the only thing beagles are good at though. They are also excellent barkers. I originally wanted to name him Bob but my wife strongly objected. After the first week she said we should have gone with Bob and called him Bob Barker. Get it? Never mind. Anyway he is an excellent barker. He has the type of bark that carries several blocks over. And he lets you know if anyone in the neighborhood is planning on moving from whatever position they are currently in. If somebody walks by, he barks. If somebody is sunbathing and they turn over, he barks. If the wind blows and rustles a blade of grass, he barks. So yes, he has the barking thing perfected.

But of all the things he is best at I would have to say his best skill is depositing. That’s my delicate way of saying he craps a lot. It’s amazing what this dog can do. Somehow we added only one dog to the mix for a total of three. But the output from the three has grown exponentially. It was hard enough to walk across the backyard and not step in at least one pile. Now I’m lucky if I take a step and don’t step in one. Thank goodness I have two teenage boys to shovel on a regular basis.

So it just goes to show Charlie Brown was right along. If you’re going to own a dog the beagle is the way to go. They are loyal, energetic, great with kids, and … Good Grief, I just stepped in another pile!