Join Us Box / Rack Advertise Service Contact Us
 
 
 
 
  Welcome Visitor, 588 members online. Date: Sun, Mar 21, 2010 My Account Login/Register  Search:   advanced  
Home
Featured
Columnists
Special
Photos
Calendar
Classifieds
Advertisers
Weekly Editions
 
Stephen Lewis: ‘Bama fan hits the heights



 Related Articles
Stephen Lewis: Powerball prayer doesn’t pay off
Dr. Kestner: Happiness is free, but instructions cost $11.95
Mrs. 'Boro: Day 1, Phase 3 of Spring Cleaning brings surprises
The Edge: Harmony Home moves to ‘Boro
Mike Pirtle: Council districts ‘awfully risky,’ need thought
Read all about it: Uncle Sid Goes HD
TSSAA blind draw hurts Stars, state tournament
The Edge: Businesses come, go on 'Boro's Public Square
Mrs. 'Boro: Time to dump stuff
Dr. Kestner: Save up your change, be glad that you did
View All
By: STEPHEN LEWIS, Post Columnist
Posted: Sunday, November 2, 2008 6:49 am
Email Print
The crowd was frustrated that day my friends. Like a John McCain supporter awaiting election results in Memphis. The grumbling could be heard by all who gathered there. And no one dressed in orange would be satisfied until the ax fell and freed the Big Orange Nation (UT fans) from the Great Pumpkin (Phillip Fulmer).

The wife and I took a trip to Knoxville last weekend to watch Alabama embarrass the Vols in front of 106,000 Phillip Fulmer haters. Vol fans hate him because the Vols stink, and Bama fans hate him because he ratted them out several years ago for recruiting violations. Like UT has always been on the up and up.

If you can’t tell, I’m an Alabama fan. And have been since I watched my first college football game. It was the 1980 Sugar Bowl between Alabama and Arkansas. I have no connection to the university or the state, other than driving through it on the way to Panama City Beach. But I’m still a nervous wreck every time they play. This year’s win was especially sweet since it was the first time the Vols have lost to the Tide in consecutive years since Fulmer became coach.

I’ve been to Knoxville for games many times, and I’m always amazed at the amount charged for parking. Actually I’m disgusted by the whole concept of charging for parking. To park in the Greenland Drive parking lot for MTSU games you have to pay to be in the Blue Raider Athletic Association. MTSU hasn’t accomplished anything of significance in 20 years and they’re even in on the parking scam.

Anyway, since I’m too cheap to pay for parking, we drove around until I found an open spot. We were just outside of Oak Ridge so we hopped on the back of a nuclear waste transport and rode on into Knoxville. The smell wasn’t so great but the heat from the waste kept us warm, and my wife had a really cool glow when the sun went down.

I’m not sure who decided to build UT where they did but I sure wish they could have found a flatter spot. Maybe it’s the routes we chose to and from the stadium, but we walked uphill to get to the stadium and then uphill back to the car. I still haven’t figured out how that happened.

Once we got into the stadium we found our seats. Fortunately the ushers at UT games have special giant shoehorns to wedge you into your seats. Depending on your size, you have between one to three inches to move your body in any direction. Every time UT made a decent play I had an elbow in each ear from the people beside me, a knee in the back from the person behind me, and either popcorn or hot chocolate in my face from the person in front. Thank goodness UT stinks or I would have looked like Rocky after Mr. T beat the heck out of him in Rocky 3.

But getting beaten up wasn’t the worst part. That happened when I went to the bathroom at halftime. You ladies may complain that you have to wait in a long line, but nothing is worse than walking into a men’s bathroom and standing face to face with a line of 20 men standing over a trough with their … um, their … how do I say this without being censored? Let’s just say with their manhood dangling in front of you. Not a lot of privacy in a bathroom obviously built in the 1930s.

At least in the bathroom you don’t have to listen to the band play Rocky Top. Unlike some UT haters I don’t mind hearing Rocky Top the first 10 times they play it. Of course it’s been played that much before opening kickoff. I do hate the “Woo” that Vol fans scream at the end each time it’s played. Actually someone in the bathroom did do the “Woo,” but I don’t know if he could hear the song or just so happened to pass a kidney stone.

In the end Alabama won and I was happy. We waited around with other fans and watched as the Alabama players left the stadium and loaded onto the buses. I actually spoke to Coach Nick Saban and shook hands with Alabama’s starting quarterback. Never has a 41- year-old man been made so happy by a 20-year-old man without something perverted taking place. But I must say that was the highlight of my many years following Crimson Tide football.

But keep your heads up Vol fans. Even if UT doesn’t fire Fulmer there are better days ahead. After all you get to play Vanderbilt and Kentucky every year, and no other coach in the country does a better impression of “The Great Pumpkin.”
Share: 
Tags: SPORTS, VOICES
Member Opinions:
By: casaanderson on 11/3/08
All the class we have come to expect from an Alabama fan. You should be doing blogs instead of having a column.


Login and voice your opinion!


Copyright Statement | Privacy Statement | Terms of Service

615-869-0800 | online@murfreesboropost.com | 630 Broadmor Blvd. Suite 140,  P.O. 10008, Murfreesboro, TN 37129
Making Web Design Easy Since 2001
Websites for Newspapers, Magazines, HOAs, Trade Associations & Online Communities  |  Email Marketing, E-Commerce