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Going on a wild goose chase




Take a gander at a goose.Larry Woody/Wilson Post

Take a gander at a goose.Larry Woody/Wilson Post

A couple of years ago a buddy and I were fishing on Old Hickory Lake when we got a gander at a wild goose chase.

A lakeside homeowner on a riding mower was trying to shoo a flock of Canada geese off his expansive lawn. When he charged toward them, the geese would flush, honking, circle around, and settle on another part of the lawn.

The rider would race over and flush them from their new spot, and they would repeat the process – circle and land elsewhere. It was obvious the geese weren’t leaving.

The fish weren’t biting so we moved on, not hanging around to see what the frustrated goose-chaser ran out of first – gas or patience.

I was reminded of that futile flock-flushing a while back when I came across a story about an animal-rights group protesting hunting as a way to control over-populated geese.

They proposed shooing instead of shooting.

They wanted to run the problem geese off “somewhere else.”

They didn’t say where “elsewhere else” was. Probably a neighbor’s lawn, patio or boat dock. Or perhaps the geese could be relocated in a public park or recreation area, like the flocks at Cumberland Mountain State Park.

I was walking at the park this summer and the lakeside trails were land-mined with goose droppings. The feces had the lake so contaminated I wouldn’t recommend sticking a toe in the water.

The park geese are, of course, protected.

The only way to get rid of them is to try to shoo off them elsewhere. Wherever that is.

Around some airports, flocks of the big birds have become an aviation hazard. Getting a goose sucked into an engine can put a damper on the flight.

Geese are a nuisance on golf courses, adding to the challenge of making a long putt on a goose-splattered green. I don’t know what the PGA rule is about removing goose goo from your putting line.

Although they can be foul fowl, I’m not anti-goose. They are fascinating birds, gliding gracefully across the water and waddling on land like web-footed Charlie Chaplins.

Most of Tennessee’s Canada geese have never been near Canada. They are year-round residents, nesting and raising their broods here.

Every autumn their Northern relatives fly over on their southern migrations, cutting a wavering V across a golden moon and honking hellos down below. There’s no more stirring sight and sound.

Geese are monogamous. Unlike Mickey Rooney and Elizabeth Taylor, they select a mate and stick together through thick and thin. If one dies, the other goes through life alone.

Geese will risk their lives to protect their eggs and goslings from predators and perceived threats from intrusive humans. An attack by a hissing, neck-bowing, beak-stabbing gander is daunting.

But as interesting and admirable as the birds may be, there can be too much of a good thing, and over-populated geese are creating problems in many areas.

How to cook their goose is the challenge.

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