For happiness: Let go of past, be kinder on The Murfreesboro Post

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For happiness: Let go of past, be kinder

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By: By JEANNE BRAGG

Today when I woke up I plowed through my routine.

And I thought: "I'm tired of making up the bed."

"I HATE walking."

"I'm tired of having to take a shower and style my hair."

"I'm tired of trying to decide what to wear."

When I complained about it to my friend Rosemary, she once said, "What if you were 83 like me?"

Fortunately Tommy unloads the dishwasher for me (remember-- he loves mindless, repetitive tasks). He also makes up the bed-- when he gets out last. We've only had one "rule" in our almost 38 years of marriage and it is: Whoever gets out of bed last has to make it up. If you're lucky enough to sleep late, you're gonna have to pay.

I was telling a friend about being tired of the above recently (he's younger than I), and he smiled a slow, deliberate smile and said, "I love to smell coffee brewing in the morning.

I really started feeling guilty, thinking, what exactly is it I'm so tired of? Don't you think one of those parents of a student at Virginia Tech—or anywhere else in the world—wishes they could trade places with me? Like many people in the world, I could be fighting many serious battles now.

I think it's a path we fall into as adults. Daily we get roll out of bed, get our caffeine kick, we get the kids ready for the bus and school and then we go to work. Everyone probably complains about traffic so much because it's another "irritant" in the list of "have to's."

Which leads me to wonder…How much of our life is "have to's" and how we can inject some meaning into them?

Dr. Robert Holden, a "happiness" expert, was a guest this week on Oprah Winfrey's show.

He gave a happiness quiz (find it on Oprah.com). He said that if we look outside ourselves for everything to be right, it will never happen.

"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there.' You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy…"

But he promises, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for.

Instead, he says, if you are unhappy with your life or looking to improve it, there are two things you can do.

First, "Let go of your past…it's gone."

And, second, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others."

He said that there is a joy inside people that's always happy, and they can make themselves connect to that place even when they don't feel the joy.

Dr. Holden said: "It's never to late."

Many years ago I cut out a quote long ago and put in a prominent place. …I believe it was attributed to Goethe but if not perhaps someone could enlighten me.

It said, and I repeat it to myself daily, "Happiness is not in things; it is in us."

'Til later.

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By: Mom on 7/19/07
I have read that your brain interprets what you have on your face to determine if you're doing very well. So, it matters if we all smile at ourselves in the mirror every day. Our brain says, OH, we ARE doing well today!" Even if you don't feel like it, do it anyway. If you want to, you can even talk to your mirror, and say, Hello, you sweet thing, I love you a lot! Try it. It's free! You can turn on the water if you don't want anybody else to hear you. Who cares anyway. Since that article, I have never again looked into a mirror and not smiled, have even winked!!

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