I always thought that when I “retired” I would go out to lunch with friends often.
That never happens. If I go out to lunch once a month, it’s a treat.
Several of my friends and I decided we’d have a “birthday club.” Six of us would get together and celebrate birthdays every other month. That was in May. Our calendars have been so busy that the only luncheon we’ve had was today.
Lunch at the Chop House was delicious and imagine my surprise when two out of my five friends said that they were decorating their houses for Christmas this week!
Did you read me right? Decorating their houses for Christmas! THIS week!
I have forewarned my children that I’m not into decorating this year. I remember oh-so-fondly what a chore it was to dismantle four trees about 330 days ago. And they seem to be okay with that. Too bad if they’re not.
Except for having bought some lime green ribbon (to put a fresh spin on things) I've refused to march up and down the Christmas aisles in the stores. My determination is resolute. But time will tell.
After Thanksgiving I might be “rolling out the holly ... and decking the halls.”
But not this week.
Two years ago I wrote an article about “Decorating Tips learned the hard way.”
So if THIS week is your week or whether you wait until later, I share, again, those tips that I learned the hard way. Hopefully they’ll save you some time.
Have your house in order.
Get someone to help you carry all the stuff out of the attic. I never do the same decorations from year to year, so now when I store things I sort them by color, category, etc (i.e., “Red ornaments; crystal; white ornaments,” etc.). You'll need an extra hand.
Get out the ladder. You’ll kill yourself trying to avoid going to the garage.
Fill the CD with Christmas music, put it on “random” and put it in a central hallway.
Get out the nativity scene and put it in a very prominent place. It's the only “decoration” that matters anyway.
Get out the vacuum cleaner with a long extension cord. When that greenery (real or otherwise) starts shedding, your vacuum will become your new best friend.
Get a tool belt or apron full of pockets and fill it with the following: wire cutters, rubber gloves, paddle wire, chenille twists (formerly known as pipe cleaners) and ornament hangers. The gloves protect your hands from those pine boughs and the chenille things are great to hang things without scratches. Tie scissors around your neck with a long ribbon. If you don't, you’ll spend five minutes looking for them every time you put them down.
If you use real pine or holly, follow my favorite tip from Rebecca (Mrs. Jennings) Jones: Smash the ends of the stems of real greenery with a hammer and soak them in water overnight. It will make them last five times longer. Also: vegetable oil will take the pitch from real pine bough off your hands.
Put a trash container in a central hallway. I find that carting an old-fashioned shopping bag around works well. You can move it easily and it stands up on its own.
Get your timers out and plug them in the appropriate places. Or buy those remote controls that turn lights off and on. I bought three last year and they were the greatest devices known to man or woman for about $10. And they sell out fast. They will keep you from getting down on your hands and knees to plugs lights in daily when you want to turn something on.
Take time out for a break. I find if I stop for a cup of herbal tea and watch TV for a minute, it really refreshes me.
Plug in any lights (new or old) you’re using before you wrap them around doors, wreaths, etc. I have often wrapped a whole string around my doorway only to find out only half of them turn on when plugged in.
Work like a dog. Actually, you’ll work harder than any dog you know and you'll be so sick of mess that you'll wonder why you do this.
Take photos of everything you've done. Store the photos in the containers as you dismantle them. You will then remember what you liked and what you didn't. I loved the Hobby Lobby mirrors and lights behind my crèche scene last year, and my brain is so fried that I would have forgotten it had I not taken pictures (this is my buddy Pat Evan's tip).
Whether you decorate this week or after Thanksgiving, wait until you’re in the mood. It’s a chore no matter how you face it, but eventually you'll be ready.
Then you’re finished! Go get some eggnog, pour some rum in it and take a swig. Listen to Burl Ives sing “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” and pat yourself on the back. You’ve earned it--big time.
My friend Andrea Loughry once said that it is the obligation of the women in the family to uphold traditions. And a heavy task it is. But like it or not, your family will remember it for years to come.
‘Til next week.
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