Mrs. Murfreesboro: End of school as challenging for moms as Christmas on The Murfreesboro Post

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Mrs. Murfreesboro: End of school as challenging for moms as Christmas

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By: Jeanne Bragg

Posted: Sunday, May 17, 2009 7:27 am

I hate May.

I’ve always said that May is like Christmas for mothers.

May signals the end of school, thus a flurry of activities: year-end parties (double if you’re room mother), teacher’s gifts, year-end report cards (worse if you’re a teacher), dance recitals, piano recitals, buying expensive outfits for dance recitals, piano recitals and graduation (from kindergarten to high school to college). Lots of milestones.

Grade and high schools were finished in June when I was growing up, but now we cram them into May. Someone in their infinite wisdom pushed it forward but I doubt it was a mother.

I hated shopping for prom dresses in May with my girls. What I had in mind wasn’t close to what they had in mind, and shopping was more drudgery than fun.

Years ago I was in the old Castner-Knott at Hickory Hollow when a young girl squealed: “I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT... OH MY GOSH, I FOUND IT.”

The woman next to me wryly said, ”I think she found it.”

I said, ‘You don’t have a daughter, do you?”

She said, “No, I have boys.”

I replied, “I could tell ... because if you’d ever gone shopping for a prom dress, that squeal it would be the most beautiful sound you’ve heard since her first cry. You’d buy the dress on sight, regardless of the cost, and be so grateful to find it you’d never look back.”

She wasn’t convinced, but mothers of daughters understand.

And it’s not only about the dress. Shoes can cost as much as the dress, not to mention necklaces, earrings, hair styling, etc. And tuxedo rentals for guys.

Glad I’m past all that.

I used to brag that I never gave advice on motherhood unless asked but here I am writing a weekly column telling people what to do.

When we were younger it was a stretch to afford prom dresses so I identify with all parents during this time. My daughter Anne and I discussed that last week, and she never remembered having gone without anything she wanted – good to know.

My friend Fran had only one beautifully behaved, well-adjusted, disciplined daughter, and once she asked for advice. I said that if I had to do it again, I would buy three things for without regard to cost: 1) prom dresses 2) bathing suits and 3) blue jeans.

Any mother of a teenage daughter knows how self-conscious they are, and the above things are very important to them. They wear blue jeans 24/7 so if you buy some they don’t like you’re wasting your money. Instead, help them pay for the ones that make them feel good about themselves.

Prom dresses, too.

I still remember the dress I wore to my first “Snowball,” the winter dance at my school. It had a red velvet top (with spaghetti straps) and a white chiffon skirt. I made it when I was 16. If I had to do it again, I’d reinvent my youth by splurging on those for my children, because I vividly remember how important that prom dress was.

Ditto: bathing suits. Weekly I glance upon a photo in my daughter Beth’s room of her and her swim team buddies. Everyone on the team had matching suits except Beth. I think we couldn’t afford it or didn’t know how important it was.

I know now if I couldn’t afford the swimsuit, I shouldn’t have let her join the team. But hindsight is 20/20, n’est pas?

So get out there and have fun and enjoy this May, in spite of curmudgeons like me.

Maybe the ground will dry out and we can focus on the lush flowers and greenery provided by the unrelenting rain.

‘Til next week.

Tagged under Jeanne Bragg

Member Opinions:

By: Onthehill on 5/21/09
I may not have a daughter, but the older boys get, the more expensive their taste becomes. I personally hate shopping for guys. Seems like the selection for them is small compared to a girls.
It is such a hassle because, if like my son, he hates to go shopping. And usually if I pick something out and bring it home, he doesn't like it. My son can't stand to be fitted for anything either.
We had to fit him for a suit one year and he just moaned while the lady pinned his pants.
If I had to chose, I would chose to shop with a daughter. That is of course if she isn't a "tomboy".