JEANNE BRAGG
Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2008 9:00 am

Like everyone who is reading this, I am blown away by how much everything costs.

I am reminded of a presidential debate when Bill Clinton and George Bush (or maybe it was Ross Perot) went head to head. Bush was asked the price of ground beef or a loaf of bread and didn’t have a clue. Clinton nailed it dead on. I say that not to draw a political line in the sand, but to show that there are some folks who know how much things cost and others who don’t.

When we were newlyweds, my husband Tommy and I lived in Kansas City, Mo. He was a lieutenant in the Air Force during the Vietnam era, and I worked downtown for an up-and-coming prestigious stock transfer company.

We lived close to the airbase, and I rode the bus to work (we could only afford one car and city transportation was available). So, on my lunch hour I would shop downtown and almost daily bring home something new – a new plant, a new blouse, a new CD (they may have been eight-track tapes back then). Shopping generally took the place of eating lunch.

At home, I would “dare” Tommy to guess how much my purchase of the day was, and he was right every time – every single time. After about three months of this little game, knowing his strengths and weaknesses (and knowing shopping was not in the strength category) I finally said: “How in the world do you guess right all the time?”

And he replied with a grin: “I figured whatever amount I gave you in the morning, you would spend it that day.

He was right on the mark. Gulp … a lesson learned

Tommy has been always been very generous with me, and like most of my other friends’ husbands never questions what I spend. In earlier years, I made more money than he did, and I don’t know if that’s the reason, but I’ve always been truly appreciative of his largesse. And with the exception of that mega-thousand-dollar sewing machine I want, I buy almost anything I want without checking with him first.

He has also been fortunate because I am very thrifty. I am a true bargain shopper so he knows that with very few exceptions, he gets a lot of bang out of his buck.

My favorite haunts lately are Dollar Tree (waxed paper, foil pans, gift bags), Big Lots (gourmet foods, canning jars, greeting cards) and United Grocery Outlet (treasures too numerous to mention).

I cannot quite get into the “Aldi” thing. I like bargains just as much as anybody but that game when someone rushes their cart back to the 25-cent rack without any effort to share with me gets on my last nerve. The “I paid for my cart, and I’m not sharing it with you” mentality puts me in a bad mood.

Life’s too short for that, wouldn’t you just wait in the parking lot for someone to give a cart to share? Most Aldi people I see don’t.

So when we went to Knoxville last week, we were out of paper towels.

We recycle more than anyone I know. Tommy won’t even blow his nose on packaged tissue because it’s not as biodegradable as toilet paper; toilet paper is his “tissue” of choice. But I have a real affinity for paper towels. I know they’re not eco-friendly, but – by dern – I’ve worked hard to have a few luxuries in my life and paper towels are one of them.

As Wynonna would say: They are “my weakest need.”

So when I went to the store in Knoxville to buy some last weekend, they were so atrociously priced ($2 a roll or $9 for a bunch of the ones I like) that I passed them by … I’d wait for a sale later.

But on Monday Tommy went to the store. He thought we needed paper towels and cranberry juice, and when he came home all he could talk about was the price of paper towels (cranberry juice was up $1 a liter, too). In fact, he started taking note every time I used one. He’s still talking about the price of them.

So when a coupon came in the mail last week for $1 off an economy pack of them, my eyes lit up. But then he said: “$1.00 off on a package of paper towels is like getting gasoline for $3.89 instead of $3.93. No bargain at all.”

Most of you who read this know that my husband, Tommy, is the mayor.

So the moral of the story is this: If you’re worried about your Mayor getting the price of stuff, worry no more. He gets it. I’ve witnessed him reading almost every single page of the cardboard box that is filled with the city’s budget. You can bet that he knows how much stuff costs and how much it costs to run a household and what things we can do without.

So if the price of everything continues to rise as it is now, don’t be surprised if, in a matter of time they start putting electric hand dryers in the city’s restrooms.

‘Til next week.