Mrs. 'Boro: Birth Order principles may not last on The Murfreesboro Post

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Mrs. 'Boro: Birth Order principles may not last

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By: JEANNE BRAGG, Post Columnist

Posted: Sunday, September 6, 2009 7:11 am

I am a firm believer in Birth Order principles, first introduced to me by my friend Nan Woody more than 30 years ago.

Nan attended a sorority seminar with Dr. Kevin Lehman as a lecturer. Lehman asked everyone in the group who were firstborns to hold up their hands. Surprisingly, most firstborns had formed themselves into a tidy little group together.

When he asked second-borns to hold up their hands, they, too, had “found” each other and for the most part were huddled into a group.

Third and latter borns were scattered all over the place.

Lehman theorizes that your birth position in your family helps shape your personality and influences how your character develops. I, personally, think it gives clues to why we are the way we are and can often determine the birth order of many of my friends by their habits.

My sister, Carroll (oldest of eight), definitely fits into first-born category. She is organized, self-confident and scholarly. She hates to share her “things” with others (with seven younger siblings, who could blame her?) and strives for personal perfection.

I definitely fit into my second-born category. I’m prone to be late (firstborns are always on time) and certainly am not organized. I avoid conflict and am loyal to my friends.

Lehman suggests that youngest children are precocious, charming and feel picked upon by their older siblings, often resorting to being “comedians” to get attention. Some famous “youngest” you may recognize are Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy and Drew Carey.

There are whole other theories about “only” children but they typically fall closely in line with firstborns.

At the grocery store, I often try to figure out the order of shoppers. I regret that I throw all items into the cart with abandon. I glance at the carts of others with envy. And I must say, if you’ll start to notice, most shoppers put their groceries in the carts in a very orderly manner (do you guess all shoppers are firstborns?).

Studies show that almost all pilots are firstborn. Once while walking down one of those conveyer-belts in an airport, I asked a pilot if he was a firstborn. He said no, but noted that he came from a family of pilots and he wanted to follow the tradition.

When I notice clerks who “organize” shelves in stores, I often ask them if they are firstborns. They look at me with surprise, but 99 percent of the time admits that they are.

The most unusual answer I had was about a year ago. A very pleasant clerk at a local store organized my things before she scanned them. I asked if she were a firstborn and she stared at me a minute ... a very loooong minute ... before she answered. I thought, ”What’s so hard about that question?”

Then she said, “I’m the firstborn child of my Mom and Dad. I have a brother by them but my father had seven wives. My Mom was wife No. 5. He divorced my mother and married her sister. So I don’t know if you could say I am the oldest child or not.”

Oh, my. I really felt bad making her tell all that and stopped asking for a little while.

If marriages keep evolving, I imagine predicable “compartments” for the birth order will have to be re-defined, too.

I'm not sure even Dr. Lehman could analyze that.

‘Til next week.

Tagged under Jeanne Bragg, Mrs. Murfreesboro, Voices

Member Opinions:

By: lovecollies on 9/6/09
I am the youngest of 4 children, and I married the oldest of 4 children. It has worked out wonderfully! I think a youngest should never marry a youngest, and an oldest should never marry an oldest. The in-betweens can marry whoever they want. That is just my opinion, for whatever it is worth! :-)