| LIVING WELL: Finally, useful tips for surviving Thanksgiving |
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By: DR. MARK KESTNER, Post Columnist
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Posted: Thursday, November 24, 2011 9:36 am
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Happy Thanksgiving!
This is often one of the most enjoyable days of the year.
Food! Family! Football! Oh yeah, more food!
What could go wrong? Right?
Well, depending upon your circumstances, it could be the food, family or football that causes stress in your life.
Maybe you are obliged to consume your grandmother’s dry turkey and instant mashed potatoes.
Or maybe you have to try your Aunt Fuscia’s exclusive recipe for turnip-rutabaga-mashed potatoes. Or worse, the family chef failed to heed the warnings about proper turkey defrosting procedures and the whole family plays an endless game of “Hurry, I need the bathroom next!”
Speaking of family, who is talking to whom this year?
Thanksgiving is the holiday that insists that families spend cozy intimate time together, even if there is a feud playing out.
A close friend always shares his family feud stories each year.
The height of the battle season is always Thanksgiving dinner.
It sounds as if the conflict is played out by snide comments being parlayed to mock or denigrate the others.
The ultimate “winner” relishes their sense of superiority by grandly strutting about as if unvanquished by the weak smear attempts of their opponents.
Several of the prime combatants have obviously anticipated the Great Day by preparing barbs intended to reduce their opponents to sniveling corner dwellers.
Every year he threatens to boycott the event, but I think he would miss the excitement.
In some families, there is not much conflict going on, but the Thanksgiving dinner is the chosen venue for the annual suffering contest.
Each participant tries to outdo the others by elaborating on their sickness and misfortune.
If this sounds like your family you may be subject to verbal assaults on your psyche by long-suffering relatives that view you as the closest target for their lamentations.
If so, the following phrases may come in handy at gatherings this year.
When the unfortunate one has you cornered and has begun dishing out the horrible details of their maladies, try reciting one of the following important phrases:
“Oh my goodness! Good luck with that!” (Followed by asking if they have heard about some recent news item. Even better, make up a fictional news item.)
“I am so sorry to hear about that. Bless your heart.” (Followed by an account of some interesting bodily function of your own.)
“That is terrible! We’ll be thinking about you.” (Immediately drop something and after reaching to pick it up change the subject to sports or handcrafted Christmas gifts.)
If you are captured at the dinner table with no escape, try:
“That is interesting! Could you please pass the butter?” (Followed by immediate change of subject or speaker such as “So, Jim tell me about how you are doing in your support group.”)
“Say, that is something! I am sure everything will turn out fine.” (Followed by an inspiring true story about how a brave lion cub that was orphaned and outcast when his evil uncle killed his father eventually became the King of the Jungle.)
In case none of the above provides a diversion from the onslaught of dismay, the following can be deployed:
“Really?! I can’t imagine how that must feel. Please excuse me, I need to find the restroom.” (This is a last resort to be used sparingly… too many trips to the bathroom will look suspicious.)
I hope that you enjoy a festive Thanksgiving Day.
But just in case your family meal is not the stuff of Normal Rockwell paintings, these tips may help you survive.
Next week: Some equally practical suggestions for staying healthy during the winter!
Until then, stay happy and stay healthy! |
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