Hammerhaid is just about into fall football season mode.
He’s had his first bowl of chili and he’s purchased new ball caps for some of his teams. Being a tightwad has its problems for the H-man.
It used to be simple. He had two team caps ... a Dallas Cowboys (yes, that is embarrassing) and a UT Vols along with his assortment of Charlie Daniels, Hank Williams Jr. and CAT hats.
Then Jerry Jones came along and turned the Cowboys into girls ...
Well anyway....
Hammerhaid now has to buy for the Titans, the Predators, the Vols and the MIGHTY Blue Raiders, who have currently moved to the top of the hat rotation.
Which not may seem like such a big deal, but much to Hammerhaid’s regret, hats aren’t like they used to be.
Oh, he’s not saying the quality of ball caps has gone down. In fact, it is probably better than ever. However, ball caps used to come into two prices ... free and $5.
Now, you do well to buy a hat on sale at $18.
Oh sure, there are cheaper ones ... but they usually look worse than no cap at all.
Well, there is always last season’s cap, but (to get confidential here) last season’s cap is usually no better to men than last season’s dress is to women.
So Hammerhaid had no choice. He might wear the same brogans for a decade, but that ball cap has got to change from year to year.
And in case, if you hadn’t noticed, the cap manufacturers have learned a trick or two. For example, many of the Titan’s caps are tied to past glory, which means they could be as outdated as all that UT national championship merchandise still languishing out there.
Of course there are all those Titans jerseys ... home, away and alternative. Every time Hammerhaid gets a Titan jersey the player ends up being traded or retired like Eddie George.
Things are a bit tougher for the Preds, who have not made the playoffs. However, they have not missed out with the marketing. Ever notice how the “look” of Predator merchandise changes from year to year?
That is to say the Vols never miss a trick on selling their stuff. You could buy a new UT item every day for a year and not touch the number of “stuff” available from baby cheerleader outfits to UT commode seats. The word class does not necessarily go with the style exhibited by UT.
“We are talking East Tennessee ... nuff said,” agreed Hammerhaid.
Unfortunately, cheapskate H-man can’t touch his bro, E.W. when it comes to sports merchandise. E.W. recently tried to broaden his collection on a business trip to Dallas where he attempted to acquire a Dallas Cowboy jersey with “Pacman’s” name and number on it.
“You’re not the first one to ask for that,” the vendor told him. Such a jersey would make a statement at Titan home games.
But back to Middle Tennessee and Hammerhaid’s woeful collection. There was a time when Hammerhaid was content to pull out his ancient, holy Middle Tennessee State College sweatshirt. It was after all, a pretty good conversation piece. Then, someway or other, he ended up with a green (don’t have a clue) sweatshirt with a fancy MTSU logo on it. (Sale bin!)
Well, anyway....
The short story is he had to reinvest in items with the correct color of blue and with the proper Lightning logos. Durn if he can find as much as a T-shirt insulting Troy State.
So, in other words, his MTSU wardrobe is still lacking, but he is working on it. At this point, he remains a hodgepodge of Titan, UT and Raider wear. But there is his amazing Titan cap ... the best hat he’s ever owned. You can do anything to that cap. Wear it mowing the grass, in the swimming pool and it still looks brand new.
People always ask him where he got it because it looks so good. He really doesn’t want to tell them a convenience market in Smithville, so he always says “the Titan store at LP Field.”
“T-t-t-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-ight |
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