Count ol’ Hammerhaid in with the others. It’s time for this cold weather to end.
Yup, ol’ Hammerlips was enjoying the ice and snow almost as much as the kids in his neighborhood ‘til the battery in his car went kaput.
Kaput? Yep, that’s a German word that translates into “the $%#^ thang’s dead” for folks from Hammerhaid’s neck of the woods.
Yup, it happened after one of this week’s snows. Hammerhaid, being the dutiful husband, had gone out in the 13 degree cold to clear off Betty Lou’s land yacht.
She’s got one of those machines whose doors freeze shut at the slightest hint of ice and snow.
Being the proud technician he is, Hammerhaid had previously discovered borrowing his lady’s hair dryer was the perfect tool for opening those doors. Fast and scratch free with only the slight chance of electrocution out there in the cold wetness.
Well anyway, Hammerhaid soon had Betty Lou’s mobile opened up and running like a kitten. It was all warm for the missus to pilot across those two icy bridges to work.
Our frozen hero, his job complete, returned inside and enjoyed a piping hot cup of java, and thus warmed he finished getting ready for work.
Then it was back outside to thaw his car open. Just took a second or two and Hammerhaid was in. He inserted his key and twisted. Instead of roaring to life, it gave a half-hearted clicking sound.
Yup, dead battery.
Normally not a problem.
You just jump in the other car and go buy a battery and install it.
Whelp, this morning the other car was already gone and it was much too cold to even open the ice-laden hood.
“&^%$,” was all his frozen lips could muster. “@#$% .... it.”
Actually, he was too numb to cuss. He did make it to work ... just a little late and before most of the others arrived. Most, if not all, were surprised to find him there ‘cause the Hammerhaidmobile wasn’t in its usual spot.
Thanks to the prevailing temperatures and his normal schedule of after the work stuff, Hammerhaid didn’t get to even open his hood until Wednesday morning.
“Durn battery cable,” he muttered.
It was warm enough to mess with it, but he didn’t start his project in time to catch a ride with Betty Lou if his effort failed.
There wasn’t even time to think about it. He just rushed inside and got ready for work (leaving one side of his face unshaved) just in time to catch a ride. That left him to drive what he “affectionately” calls the Battlestar Galactica.
Well actually, Betty Lou won’t let him drive it while she’s in the car. So she drove it to her work and reluctantly let her hubby drive it to his job.
Driving that thing is like trying to direct a rockslide down Tiger Hill. So Hammerhaid just aimed it in the general direction of work and hoped for the best.
He made it and even managed to park it, engaging the emergency brake so it wouldn’t roll out of his parking spot. That was a mistake. Hammerhaid knew he had to mash the emergency brake until it clicked in, but when lunchtime rolled around, he soon discovered he didn’t have the slightest idea how to release it.
A little trial and error soon revealed that the emergency brake was actually a parking brake that automatically disengaged when you started the car and put it in reverse.
Whew, now all that’s left is figuring how to turn on the headlights when he heads home tonight. (Here’s a hint ... they automatically come on.)
T-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-right. |
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