One train wreck after another.
Come to think of it, some of us do live a life a bit like “General Hospital” or “All My Children.”
Not Hammerhaid. Until recently he had never even watched a soap. Can’t say that about Betty Lou. Not much of a TV watcher, she still is the proud owner of a DVR. That’s a digital video recorder for you non-tecknos. Think of it as being a VCR that doesn’t require an engineering degree to operate.
Betty Lou has it programmed to tape all her shows, but most especially “GH,” which she has watched since the glory days of Luke and Laura.
Hammerhaid used to always say, “I don’t see why you watch that *&^%.”
“It’s entertaining,” she used to say before turning tables on him some time ago when she said, “It’s just like professional wrestling … exactly like it in fact.”
Huh?
He couldn’t believe it … didn’t believe it, but she made a persistent case.
“Wrestling has its families … right?” she asked.
“Yep, there’s the Vince McMahon family with son-in-law Triple H, the Hardy brothers, the Harts … it’s a family thing,” Hammerhaid said.
“General Hospital has its families too … the Scorpios, the Quartermaines, the Cassadines … some of them good and some of them evil. Heros and heels,” she continued.
“What a bunch of crazy names, nobody has a name like that,” Hammerhaid grunted.
“What about the Undertaker and his first cousin, Kane?” she said. “Most wrestlers don’t even use their real names. Didn’t you tell me that the Texas Rattlesnake, Steve Austin’s real name is Steve Williams?”
“It’s all just acting. Somebody writes a story and they just act it out. Call it sports entertainment or whatever you like, but it is still a soap opera,” she grinned.
“But your blankety soaps don’t have any action other than lip locks?” Hammerhaid said.
“What’s wrong with a lip lock? Besides, there’s all sort of physical action, fistfights, gun battles, getting lost at sea, explosions, all sorts of things, but with none of the illiterate chest-beating of those overdeveloped wrestlers. There’s not much romance in wrestling,” she said.
“T-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-ight. We get enough of that romance at home,” he stressed.
“Hmmmmmm, maybe that’s why every woman in America has their favorite soaps,” Betty Lou pondered. “We like to think about getting a hug and a kiss from Luke Spencer or Jasper Jacks, while Bozos like you think about getting a chokehold from the Undertaker and then getting slammed into a casket. Now that’s romance.”
“Better than watching a soap opera,” Hammerhaid grunted.
That’s when she threw down the gauntlet, saying she would watch wrestling for a week if the H-man watched General Hospital.
Guess who won?
Progress came slow and begrudgingly, but after two weeks Hammerhaid hit the door and the first words outta his mouth were, “Do you think Sam is going live or die?”
“Dunno, that can wait. We missed RAW last night, and I am dying to know what the Matt Hardy has to say about Manu,” Betty Lou said.
“But, but ….,” Hammerhaid said.
“But … you should have learned to operate the DVR. I’ve shown you a million times and you just don’t seem to get it. Men!” she said.
“Women,” moaned Hammerhaid. “I will never understand them.”
T-t-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-r-ight. |
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