Well, did you spring forward this morning?
Hammerhaid did, complaining all the way.
He is usually up, but not awake, by 6:15 a.m. most Sundays. He’s among those who wish daylights savings time was in effect year round.
That way, he wouldn’t have to fool around with resetting clocks the night before. It’s not that he has to reset a clock in every room. Most of his automatically switch, except the @#$% clock on the dashboard of his car.
Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal, but that dash clock is the one most prominent in his daily life and it is so very hard to reset. Normally, it takes him weeks (even with the directions) to get it switched. So?
It really wouldn’t matter except for the sudden shock it gives him every morning.
H-haid, like many of us, cruises on autopilot. He wakes up at the usual time, watches a couple of minutes of TV trying to get his eyes to focus, makes coffee, drinks a cup, shaves, takes a shower and goes to work.
He doesn’t really focus on the time. He’s just automatically on schedule.
He’s still groggy, but everything is smooth and under control, until he starts that car and the time is an hour off.
A moment of panic ensues until his caffeine-depleted brain snaps too and reminds him that the clock hasn’t been reset. His system doesn’t need that sudden shock.
What makes it worse is that the car clock is always 10 minutes off. Always. No matter how many times he resets it, within hours its back to being 10 minutes later than actual time.
“You would think the *&^% would keep losing time ... that 10 minutes would become 15, 20 or 30 ... but that’s not the case,” he said, blaming NAFTA for the defect.
“I would tape the durn thing over, except it is right in the middle of my stereo display,” he said.
H-haid is no good without his sounds. A Chicago CD is his current favorite. You should be able to appreciate the irony of a grump listening to “Make Me Smile” at about 200 decibels as he cruises down Old Fort Parkway. Yup, it’s about like “Knight Rider’s” sonic cannon.
Well anyway, Hammerhaid beat the system today. He reset his car clock using the directions mid-day on Saturday when he was wide-awake and in no real hurry.
Anything to keep from working on his latest project ... reorganizing and reshuffling the garage. My, he was certainly happy to discover 49 gallon water jugs hidden behind that wall of boxes containing old magazines and broken &^%$.
What was it the late and great George Carlin said about stuff?
Well, H-haid’s stuff is quality items. Everybody else’s stuff is just, uh, rubbish.
Trouble is, most of the stuff he is sorting through isn’t his. All he’s got is a toolbox and a box of “important papers” (i.e. expired catalogs and junk mail). So where is the Goodwill number when he needs it?
It’s enough to make him “fall back.” So he does after sneaking back in for another coffee and a quick doze in the recliner. He deserves a rest ... after working all of 15 minutes without any help. And where are all of his helpers? Repainting that bathroom he painted white two weekends ago ... this time khaki, which was its original color.
T-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-right. |
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