Join Us Box / Rack Advertise Service Contact Us
 
 
 
 
  Welcome Visitor, 464 members online. Date: Sun, Mar 21, 2010 My Account Login/Register  Search:   advanced  
Home
Featured
Columnists
Special
Photos
Calendar
Classifieds
Advertisers
Weekly Editions
 
Hammerhaid: Perfect ‘tree’ search turns against H-haid



 Related Articles
Mike Pirtle: Council districts ‘awfully risky,’ need thought
Stephen Lewis: Powerball prayer doesn’t pay off
Dr. Kestner: Happiness is free, but instructions cost $11.95
Mrs. 'Boro: Day 1, Phase 3 of Spring Cleaning brings surprises
The Edge: Harmony Home moves to ‘Boro
Read all about it: Uncle Sid Goes HD
Mike Pirtle: People suffer enough without politics
H-Haid: Dang, why did he get rid of that truck?
Stephen Lewis: Mourning a dear, dear friend
The Edge: Businesses come, go on 'Boro's Public Square
View All
By: MIKE WEST, Managing Editor
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 7:05 am
Email Print
Hammerhaid didn’t have time to daydream this week, but you know how that goes.

Well maybe, “daydream” is the wrong term. A daydream is a visionary fantasy experienced while awake, especially one of happy, pleasant thoughts, hopes or ambitions.

If that’s true, his “daydreams” are a little more like nightmares. Well, maybe “nightmare” is a little strong for a guy who takes time during the day to worry about Hulk Hogan getting blindsided by Ric Flair during a press conference in Australia.

Yeah, now you get it.

Once he mulled over the Hogan/Flair incident a time or two, it was back to fretting about the holidays and questions about how his artificial evergreen weighs three times as much as a real tree.

Don’t get me wrong, that tree is a beauty. Betty Lou proudly bought it a couple years back at an after-Christmas special.

It’s so special that you have streams of white lights or an equal number of multi-colored lights.

Get it? You can have an all-white light tree (Betty Lou’s favorite) or a multi-colored light tree (H-haid’s favorite). Or you can have all the lights on at the same time (M’boro Electric’s favorite).

You can even control the lights with a wireless remote control. If you can find the wireless remote that is. H-haid discovered it in the middle of July hidden away in the pantry closet and promptly lost it again.

That’s probably just as well, because running the wires for that tree takes … Well, heck, it is impossible to keep the strains of white light separate from the colored ones.

And why’s that?

Oh, the cables are somewhat marked, but the branches of the tree are so dense it takes somebody really slim to fit in there and read them. Really slim … smaller than a 3-year-old youngster.

Last year, after days of trying, H-haid finally gave up on getting the lights right, giving Betty Lou a somewhat ugly mix of white and colored lights.

After the tree was all decorated, it really didn’t matter. In Hammerhaid’s option, the big, ol’ tree looked great especially when it was surrounded by presents.

Hammerhaid had different plans for this year. He wanted to replace that tree with something a little less complex. He was even ready to compromises on the lighting with bright white lights instead of his favorite colored ones.

He even tried to “make” it Betty Lou’s idea by quietly admiring the beautiful artifical trees on display at various local venues.

On a late afternoon last week, they hit most of the area stores that feature trees. And the more they looked, the more she grew convinced the ol’ monster tree just outshined them all.

“These trees are just too thin. Look at how sparse the branches are! This one’s too green ... this one’s too dark. Can you believe this pink one? Horrible!” she said.

Eventually, she figured out what he was plotting and announced it was time to go home.

“I LOVE our tree,” she proclaimed. “We are not replacing it. You better crawl up in the attic and get it.”

At least Hammerhaid had the last laugh on that one. He had carefully hidden the heavyweight tree downstairs in the garage after last Christmas.

Now all he’s gotta do is move everything else outta the way....

T-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-right.
Share: 
Tags: Hammerhaid, Mike West, Voices
Member Opinions:
By: acdsrool on 11/22/09
Well, when you get yours put up will you come and assemble ours? It sounds like we have the very same model and although I am more than willing to HELP put it up, I definitely don't want to do it all by myself. I adore Betty Lou but I'm with you on the lights...got to be colored and not white. Of course, hubby and the MED love all the lights...go figure!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a very Merry Christmas! Yep...I said it...Merry Christmas!


Login and voice your opinion!


Copyright Statement | Privacy Statement | Terms of Service

615-869-0800 | online@murfreesboropost.com | 630 Broadmor Blvd. Suite 140,  P.O. 10008, Murfreesboro, TN 37129
Making Web Design Easy Since 2001
Websites for Newspapers, Magazines, HOAs, Trade Associations & Online Communities  |  Email Marketing, E-Commerce