Hammerhaid: Paying a premium price for good, ol’ ice water on The Murfreesboro Post

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Hammerhaid: Paying a premium price for good, ol’ ice water

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By: MIKE WEST

Posted: Sunday, August 31, 2008 8:31 am

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Wish I had coined that phrase … but anyway…

Call him sick, but Hammerhaid has a taste for plain, old tap water.

Recently he asked Betty Lou for a nice big glass of cold water. She served it up with ice cause he was busy sweating over some honey do project or other.

“Wow, that’s the best water I have sipped in a long time. What brand is it?” he asked.

“It’s tap water … idiot,” she answered, believing that he was just jerking her around as usual.

“Really? It tastes great just like water from the old days,” H-haid said. He’s one of those who thinks everything was better in the “old days” except for TVs.

“Yes, I keep reminding you to bring in those cases of bottled water,” she reminded.

Hammerhaid is a Dasini man and Betty Lou prefers Aquafina. Yep, it’s the Coke versus Pepsi battle once again. Betty Lou’s mom is a Perrier person … with a twist. “Good thing Tiffany doesn’t bottle water,” H-man says.

Well anyway. The bottled water versus tap water amuses him.

“People are so health conscious. They drink only bottled water at work and at home, but when they dine out and ask for water what they get comes straight from the tap. There’s no filtering. No adding of minerals. It’s just plain old tap water with ice and a lemon that everybody working in the restaurant has handled.”

Huh…the lemon?

“Just think about it. They don’t wear gloves when slicing up those lemons. That would be too dangerous. The knife would slip in a gloved hand. So the slicer handles every slice of lemon and so does the server fishing it out of a container and putting it on the edge of your glass,” Hammerhaid explained.

Back in the day, a glass of ice water was mandatory at most restaurants unless you declined it.

“Most people only had a couple of little ice trays in their iceboxes. There were no home icemakers or crushers. It was a real treat on a hot southern day to get a nice, refreshing glass of water with crushed ice. Restaurants prided themselves on their ice water. They served it with a flourish in one of those six-ounce glasses that absolutely sparkled.

“It was a way of saying that their restaurant was clean and completely sanitary,” H-man said. “If a restaurant served you something in a dirty glass, it was like a slap in the face. Even the silverware had to be shiny with no water spots. Heck, nowadays you are happy just to get a fork to eat with.”

But as Hammerhaid discovered on his recent trip to Las Vegas, the “water to drink” option has new dimensions now.

“If you want plain, ole water you have to specify ‘tap water.’ Otherwise the server will bring you a bottle of imported water with a price that will give Aunt Gladys the vapors.

Some places even have a water list with the various kinds of imported aqua specified.

That surprised old H-haid.

“I knew Vegas would be an eye-opener so I was prepared for $200 meals, topless women and lots of money flowing. I was ready for the panhandlers, the dry heat, the big buffets, the alcohol, the topless women, staying up late and the clang of the slot machines. I was even ready for TV screens as big as my living room. Did I mention the topless women? But the ‘tap water’ trick threw me off. They don’t do that at Ryans.”

Paying a big premium for water is one secret that needs to stay in Vegas.

T-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-right.

Tagged under VOICES

Member Opinions:

By: justdance on 9/2/08

Yeah, they don't do a LOT of things at Ryan's! (yuck)

Oh how I wish for a Golden Corral in the Boro!