Posted: Sunday, July 19, 2009 6:33 am

“When I was a kid, seemed like summer dragged on and on. Now-a-days, it just seems like a couple of weekends before it’s time for the youngsters to head back to school,” he explained.

“Hmmmm,” said wife Betty Lou. “Maybe that’s because your mom made you stay outside from daylight to dark just because she didn’t need three rugrat brothers whining all day long?”

“I distinctly remember being a clear decision maker back in those days. I was a great leader of the youth in my neighborhood. I was a man among boys ... and so on and so forth,” H-haid responded with great dignity.

“Hmmmp. I doubt that seriously,” she responded with a grin.

“Really?” Hammerhaid responded.

“I say once a whiner, always a whiner,” Betty Lou laughed.

“REALLY?” he repeated.

“Oh, completely. Why would that have changed? In fact, I bet you were a bigger whiner in those days that you are now,” she laughed.

On second thought ... Hammerhaid’s more devoted to the “gripe” than actual “whining.”

“What does that mean?” H-man asked the missus.

“You should know. It means instead of whining about being hot, like ‘ohhhhh, I shure is hot today,’ you say it with a snarl like ‘the dang gum temperature is ‘bout to hit 110.’ Except you usually use a vulgarity instead of ‘dang gum.’” she explained.

Plus Hammerhaid has a more than a slight tendency to exaggerate.

“I don’t exaggerate .... much,” he responded.

“Well actually, you exaggerate more than you cuss, which means just about every third word is an exaggeration,” she explained. “That means that little phrase I made up about the weather, would actually read something like “the $^%# temperate is &^%$ to hit $^% 100 $!@# degrees,” she said.

“Do I really sound like that?” the slightly offended H-man said.

“Most of the time, no. The problem seems to get worse when the evening news is on,” she said.

“Really? So that’s why we don’t watch much news anymore??” he asked.

“You #$%$^ got that %$&^ right,” she laughed.

“Welllllll, I will be switched,” H-haid said in amazement.

“Tempting idea,” she laughed. “Maybe you should try to stifle yourself a bit?”

“Stifle? I doubt if it’s possible. Maybe I should find something else to do when the news is on?” he said.

“Besides flip through the channels,” she quickly added.

“Wow! I’m not sure if that is possible. It’s still burning like the Sahara when I get home and too *&^% hot to work outside or in the garage when I get home,” he said.

“There you go again. If I remember correctly, there’s a TV in almost every room in the house, including one that is just as large as your big screen with all the same controls, if you get my drift,” she said. “You can retire to that room, dial up and down the screen and moan and groan all you want as long as you do it quietly with the door shut.”

That is a thought.

Not a very good one from Hammerhaid’s point of view, because he is accustomed to having listeners to his ongoing news time commentary. Secretly, he pictures himself a bit like the late NBC news anchor John Chancellor. We’ll actually, he’s more like a hillbilly, Howdy Doody sort of commentator. (If you can imagine such a thing?)

Well anyway....

Maybe he can curtail his constant commentary?

Betty Lou’s not counting on it.

T-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-right.