While Hammerhaid doesn’t have much in common with Clint Eastwood (besides mumbling), he does share his appreciation of “horse dramas.”
He enjoyed Clint in his spaghetti westerns and in particular “The Outlaw Josie Wales.” And he still watches “Lonesome Dove” with Tommy Lee Jones as Capt. Woodrow Call, but back in the day, he was more of a Roy Rogers and Lone Ranger fan.
It doesn’t take much to transport ol’ Hammerhaid back to the days of yore when he strapped on a shootin’ iron and hunkered around a pitiful little campfire in the Texas border country cookin’ jackrabbit surprised by Pea-Eye Parker. It’s been a long, long time since Hammerhaid has ridden across the lonesome prairie.
He used to spend long, long hours in the saddle after riding long miles in the summer sun with only an occasional pull from his canteen to break the heat. And that doesn’t include the danger posed by other long-riders, Indians, bank robbers and those infamous bandits, “The Barber Boys.” The shoot-outs were plentiful and the casualties were many as he rode the paths in Texas, Mexico, Arizona, Montana, California, Mitchell-Nielson and countless other Western states. His faithful mount never complained -- well, except for the time he lost his mane -- as Hammerhaid rode him without a saddle and roughshod.
In his Western adventures Hammerhaid was a master of all weapons … spear, bow and arrow, Bowie knife, sword, six-gun, derringer, throwing knife, tomahawk, repeating and single-shot rifles. There was even the occasional cannon brought into the fray, but most of that cannon fire was during his Civil War days. In a pinch, he could fashion fortifications and even weapons from what was at hand.
And his sidekick, ol’ E.W. was never far away with his flintlock pistol and his low-rider pants.
“Pull down your shirttail, E.W. Indians can see that belly shining miles away,” Hammerhaid would say.
Many-a-time he was hit by bullets and arrows and stabbed by knives, but he never stayed down for long.
For years, he wore a double-gun set with shiny six-shooters emblazoned with the initials R.R. However, it was a Mattel Fanner 50 that emerged as his weapon of choice. He preferred it even to the long barrel of his Wyatt Earp model Buntline special. He was, however, partial to his single-shot Sharp’s buffalo rifle.
With those he could lay down a volley of fire that would paralyze a company of men. His draw was the quickest on the 1000 block of Jones Boulevard -- most of the rest of the denizens were girls only fit to be nurses or cooks.
Yep, ol’ Hammerhaid was the roughest and toughest of hombres -- he was a backyard cowboy, armed to the teeth and riding the fastest stick horse on the block. His two-handed cross draw was as deadly as Matt Dillon’s peacemaker.
T-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-right.
And he still likes to watch Westerns to this day....
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