With 2010 approaching, Hammerhaid has just one thing to say ... “No resolutions!”
For the most part, 2009 has been a bust, so H-man and the rest of the world is ready to move on to next year.
“Well, I guess I do have one resolution – if you can call it that – to make 2010 a better year. Heck, it even rolls off the tongue better. ‘Two thousand and ten’ sure sounds better,” he said.
“Hmmmm, I suppose it does, but you had trouble all year remembering that it was 2009,” wife Betty Lou said.
That little statement left Hammerhaid scratching his noggin.
“On everything you would write, you would scratch out either 2008, 2007. Heck, you even dropped back to the 1990s on some checks,” she said.
“Really? I never noticed that, but numbers have never been my strong suite,” he grinned. “Guess when it comes to writing checks, I am concentrating on getting the amount correct and the date is just an afterthought.
“Besides, I hardly even write a check anymore. I just roll out that debit card and...”
“You leave the rest to me,” she snorted in response.
“T-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-right,” he laughed. “You are better when it comes to such things anyway. I’m more like Congress when it comes to spend, spend, spending.”
“Guess that makes me president,” she laughed. “I’m gonna veto you.”
“Actually, I’ve got to say you are pretty conservative with your spending. You even did well over the holidays and didn’t charge a thing,” Betty Lou admitted. “Maybe we will be able to survive the next few months?”
“Yep, it’s not gonna be a breeze. The economy is slowly improving, but we aren’t gonna go from the gloom suddenly into the bright light,” he agreed. “We are all paying the price of a fat cat economy and I don’t see that getting suddenly flipped around.”
So is that why Hammerhaid’s not offering up any resolutions this year?
“Partially, I guess, but mainly I am thinking ‘why bother?’ Cause I never keep any of them more than a day or two,” he said.
“Just look at a list of the top resolutions. They include ‘getting fit,’ ‘losing weight’ and ‘getting out of debt.’
“Those are all long-term goals everybody should have, but I am too lazy to get fit and too poor to get out of debt. When it comes to losing weight, I’ve been trying to do that since summer. I lost 5 or 10 pounds and got stuck at the same weight,” he said.
“Well at least you are stabilized,” Betty Lou grinned.
“Stabilized means bland in my book ... no change ... the same old thing,” he said. “That’s no good. I need to get fit, I need to lose weight.”
“I’m just like the U.S. economy ... stabilized. I’m fragile and need nurturing,” he whined.
“Hmmmm, sounds like you need less nurturing and more fasting,” she laughed.
“You know me, I’ve got to have three square meals a day to keep my blood sugar in order,” he grinned.
“But I don’t think that three squares includes fried potatoes each meal?” she said. “Just cut out the fried potatoes and I am sure you will lose some weight.”
“But, uh, but ... if I cut out fried potatoes what will I actually eat?” Hammerhaid asked.
“You might try green veggies,” she said.
“Collard greens, turnip greens, green beans. I already eat that green stuff,” he said.
“Yeah, maybe once a week or is that once a month?” she answered.
“By the way, when was the last time you ate anything green?” Hammerhaid asked.
“I had some salad a couple of weeks ago,” she answered.
“No, you had croutons, bacon bits and salad dressing with a couple of leafs of lettuce that you left in the bowl,” he said.
“You know I am telling the truth,” Hammerhaid grinned.
And that’s why neither Betty Lou nor Hammerhaid is NOT having any New Year’s resolutions for 2006.
T-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-r-right.
|
Email
Print
Digg
Facebook
MySpace
StumbleUpon
Google
Yahoo!