Hammerhaid hopes not. He’s tired of all the dread and doom, but he’s proud of keeping his negative edge for the New Year.
Part of him wants to go out to the garage and dig up all that stuff he stockpiled for the millennium bug that was predicted for 2000.
“Lessee, there’s a generator, lanterns and alternative heating sources out in that garage somewheres. Or maybe they’re in the dutch barn?” he muttered.
He ate all of those MREs and dehydrated food that he had stockpiled for Y2K.
“Betty Lou made sure I ate all that stuff and I gotta admit that she was right all along when it came to the disaster that wasn’t. And man-oh-man those powdered eggs were nasty. Took me until 2002 to get rid of the aftertaste. They were a bit like wallpaper paste with yellow food color added, but tasted worse,” he recalled.
“The neighbor’s dog wouldn’t even eat some of that stuff,” he grinned.
“The neighbor’s dog? Don’t tell me ... no wonder they hate us,” Betty Lou sighed.
“Well, you didn’t expect me to feed it to our pets?” he asked.
“NO, I expected you to eat every bite,” she answered. “That *&^% was expensive. You deserved to swallow that.”
“You would have felt different if all the computers had failed, and we lost all power and everything,” Hammerhaid said.
“There was no chance of that. Anybody with a touch of common sense knew it was hype. The worst thing that could have happened is that nuts like you would have missed out on a few e-mail jokes. Do you even remember what it was about, Hammerhaid honey?”
Amazingly, he did. It was all about computers. Early computer programs used just two digits to represent the year like 97, 98. When the date rolled over to 2000, all the programs were to go caterwhappy.
“And how did the world counteract that ‘bug,’” she asked. “Everybody upgraded to new computers, which made the computer industry zillions of dollars. Everybody suffered except them and all those companies and businesses pressuring people into buying survival food and equipment.”
Betty Lou sees some parallels between Y2K and some of the more dire predictions for 2009. Doom and gloom ... things are gonna get worse before they get better, etc.
“People are suffering and they are worried about the near future. Am I gonna lose my house? ... Will I lose my job? Those are valid concerns, but look at how the companies who caused all of this are doing. They are getting-billion dollar bailouts. Times are good for the big brass,” she said.
Hammerhaid asked Betty Lou if she thinks all of the doom and gloom is just hype.
“Not all of it’s hype, but things are a bit like Y2K. People need to use their brains and not fall for all the negativity,” she said.
As for Hammerhaid, he’s staying downbeat. “Negativity is my middle name,” he said. “I am watching my money and thinking green as in greenbacks. Where is my bailout? Big brother never looks out for little schmoes like me. Give me a minute and I can think of more negativity.”
“Your idea of watching your money this Christmas season was to buy yourself only two presents, instead of three, for each family gift you bought. Oh, and you are saving more by not wrapping them, just presenting them in plastic Walmart bags,” she said. “Let me ask you this ... what does a grown man need with a Playstation 3?”
“Uh, my non-wrapping policy is not only fiscally sound, but it is environmentally friendly because no brightly colored paper will be going into landfills. And by purchasing a Playstation 3, I don’t have to buy a BlueRay DVD player,” he explained.
Betty Lou just cocked an eyebrow and cleared her throat.
“And I am eating blackeyed peas on New Year’s to bring everyone a prosperous 2009,” he added.
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