Ol’ Hammerhaid is one of those fortunate souls who is blessed with the curse of sinus trouble.
“I inherited it by making fun of my father with his sinus headaches,” he explained. “Being a kid, I couldn’t imagine a headache being so bad that your hair hurt.
“Funny thing is the minute I started getting sinus headaches, his went away. Musta been voodoo or karma or something like that,” Hammerhaid said.
But actually, as a kid he suffered from that terrible disease ... PND, better known as postnasal drip. If you remember TV commercials with that theme, you are truly old.
Poor Betty Lou gets both sinus and migraine headaches, which is no surprise considering who her husband is. He would give anybody a headache.
Hammerhaid’s problem isn’t as bad as it once was, thanks to repairs on a deviated septum (sounds nasty doesn’t it.) Or as he calls it ... a devient septum. His problem is aggravated by allergies, so flare-ups happen.
And he’s become quite the expert on sinus home remedies. Many of them work or help, but the success rate varies.
“I might use a warm compress to end one headache quickly, but the next time that might not work at all,” he explains.
He has all sorts of favorite treatments with his favorite being Vick’s Vapor Rub on his forehead and upper lip. “Jest a dab will do ya.”
He lumps his cures into food, physical and hot water categories.
Food cures?
Yep, chili or jalepeno peppers can open up your sinuses. And there’s nothing like a teaspoon of horseradish. Drink hot lemonade (with or without whisky). Heat vinegar and breathe the steam with your head covered with a towel.
Inhale fumes of heated wine.
“I discovered the wine one over the holidays, accidentally, while making some mulled wine with cheap red wine, oranges, cloves and cinnamon sticks. Breathing the fumes was great and the mulled wine was even better. It opened up my head completely,” Hammerhaid said.
Steaming water with special ingredients works well. The absolute best is eucalyptus leaves, but they are hard to find ‘round these parts.
Heated (not hot) salt water is great too. You want to avoid table salt, you can get salt tablets or salt water at the drug store that doesn’t irritate. The idea is to use a squirt bottle or neti pot to gently irrigate your nasal passages. Hammerhaid has a more diabolical device for this type of treatment (think WaterPik).
Hot compresses, heating pads and infrared massagers help too. “Those gadgets that you heat up in the microwave are great,” he added.
“Now if you have a radical problem. Grab your tongue by the side and pull it out as far as you can and hold it for five minutes,” he said. “Make sure you do that in front of somebody with a digital camera or camera phone. Makes for fun moments at work.”
If none of that works, you might consider going to a doctor. Really.
Sinus trouble is nothing new. Back in the day, they called it “catarrh” which comes from the Greek meaning “can’t breathe worth a *&^%.”
Hammerhaid, who enjoys at looking at newspapers from “back when,” knows that there was a ton of patent medicines designed to treat catarrh. The most popular seemed to be “Dr. Lane’s Catarrh Cure.”
No telling what that bottle of pills contained.
T-t-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-ight. |
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