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HAMMERHAID: For once ahead on Christmas shopping?



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By: MIKE WEST, Managing Editor
Posted: Sunday, November 15, 2009 9:26 am
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Dang, Thanksgiving is almost here and never mind Christmas.

Don’t know what it is, but something got Hammerhaid finally motivated about the upcoming holiday season.

At any rate, he was discovered earlier this week scrambling to buy Christmas decorations.
“Gotta beat the crowd,” he mumbled as he shot out the door.

While it’s difficult to ever understand what motivates the H-man, he was in a real rush to buy Christmas lights.

“Gotta find LED lights with warm whites, not the blue-ish,” he proclaimed as he traveled from store to store on Old Fort Parkway.

Huh?

“When they first came out with LED lights they had a blue-ish cast to them. They looked cold as compared to warm,” he quickly explained. “The new ones look white and save
electricity like crazy.”

Wow, a double benefit for Mr. Tightwad.

As he headed from one store to another, Hammerhaid was surprised at the crowds ... Christmas shoppers were sparse.

“I don’t get it,” he said. “The stores are pretty full of people, but they seem to be ignoring the holiday offerings.”

Target, Lowes and even WallyWorld’s holiday sections were deserted except for the occasional grandma accompanying a boisterous rug rat or two.

Hammerhaid was a little shocked. He’s used to fighting it out during the holiday shopping period. He was ready to wrestle a passel of big-armed grannies over the last pack of LED lights. He even had a stack of insults ready to use.

Heck, there were hardly any grannies and plenty of lights. He was stuck with actually making a decision instead of shoving, grabbing what was available and running to get in line.

“Shopping was a breeze,” he told Betty Lou. “There was no pushing, shoving and I didn’t have to wait in line.”

“Why was that?” she asked.

“Dunno, maybe nobody’s shopping?” H-haid responded.

“Sorry, wrong answer,” she grinned. “You were shopping early instead of waiting for the last minute after all the shelves are empty and the stores are loaded with people.”

Dang, could that be it?

Was Hammerhaid, for once in his life, ahead of the last-minute shopping rush?

Yep, sorta. He’s still got plenty of shopping to do.

Blame it on Betty Lou, she set a deadline for getting his holiday decorations ready.

“Don’t you think we should have all of the decorations ready by Thanksgiving? Last year we got them up so late, there wasn’t any time to enjoy them,” she said.

And it was a lackluster effort … with a pretty tree and a couple of measly outdoor lights.
This year’s gonna be better.

Hammerhead has already worked out his outdoor lighting plan and was ready to find accessories with Betty Lou’s approval.

“Class not brass,” was her ruling. “Homey, but not homely.”

“I guess a 12-foot inflatable Santa is out of the question?” he asked.

“No inflatables!” was the order.

Dang, Hammerhaid had found the perfect Santa driving a Bigfoot pickup display … it was too expensive anyway.

“Class … don’t be an a--,” she cautioned.

“And don’t even think about one of those crazy, computer-controlled trees,” she cautioned.

“Hmmmm, I don’t know what you are talking about,” he responded.

“You know exactly. I spotted you last weekend, looking at one of those with the big white globes that change color to the rhythm of computer-chip generated Christmas music,” she said.

“We want pretty, not loud and ugly … PRETTY,” she warned.

“So that means?” he asked warily.

“It means that we are going to shop for the rest of our Christmas decorations together like a couple,” she answered.
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Member Opinions:
By: acdsrool on 11/15/09
Watch him, Betty Lou...he sounds like he could be a gnarly one when it comes to shopping. I love your mantra...Class, not brass!


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