Hammerhaid: Early shopping gets the best of Hammerhaid on The Murfreesboro Post

Sidebar Ads

Hammerhaid: Early shopping gets the best of Hammerhaid

Related Articles

PICKIN' ON FILM: Dreams come true in New Orleans

LIVING WELL: Lecture reveals hidden body mysteries

Spring Fling brings out best in Murfreesboro

INSIDE THE ISSUES: Efforts continue to block sexual predators

MEDIA MATTERS: Photographing police protects public

BRAGG: Plight of ‘vertically challenged’

DR. KESTNER: Super tips to help memory problems

LIVING WELL: Second opinions may provide solutions

MEDIA MATTERS: Is publishing flu research dangerous?

PICKIN' ON FILM: Unraveling 'Citizen Kane'

View All

By: MIKE WEST, Managing Editor

Posted: Sunday, November 30, 2008 7:19 am

Hammerhaid caught you out shoppin’ early Black Friday morning.

Did you see him out taking in all the bargains? Maybe you were like him, too sleepy to speak?

Well anyway, Hammerhaid and Betty Lou got off to an early start on what’s the biggest shopping day of the year. They hit the deck at 3 a.m., chipper and bushy-tailed. Well, at least one of the intrepid couple was chipper and all that.

And it certainly wasn’t H-haid.

For Hammerhaid, 3 a.m. is usually when nature calls and some of the sweetest sleeping of the night falls.

But he wasn’t about to miss the early morning bargains. It’s a tradition for his family and normally he is raring to go. But Friday morning had its problems. He couldn’t find his shoes and he couldn’t find his coat without turning on the lights and waking up all the company, which included a toddler, and two babies who were finally asleep.

So while Betty Lou looked like she just stepped out of the beauty parlor, Hammerhaid was wearing his slip-sliding hunting brogans and a farm-lot jacket.

“Can’t you tie up those boots and pull your pants leg over them?” Betty Lou asked. “And that coat ... it looks like it has been in the car trunk for months.”

“I’m a little dizzy,” Hammerhaid grunted. “Let me get over to that wall, so I can steady myself.”

After some pre-daylight shuffling, he soon had the boots laced and tied.

As for the coat, “it HAS been in the trunk since October 2007 or maybe it was last spring,” he said.

At this point, Hammerhaid was a quart shy of coffee and his back was aching like he had slept on a blow up bed (he had).

“This &^%$ blow up bed reminds of a set of tires I had on my 1973 Plymouth Duster. All of the air would leak out of them overnight. It took me months to get them fixed,” he said.

First on the list was Kohls over on Old Fort. It opened at 4 a.m. They had to go there because of an undetermined reason. At a few minutes before 4, the parking lot was full and shoppers were parking in the street. Hammerhaid let Betty Lou out and parked at Krogers and was *&^% glad to get that spot.

He was in slower than usual motion when he stepped inside the brightly lit store where the aisles were packed high and everyone seemed to be carrying pillows or a Christmas tree. H-haid never found the special pillows, but he did manage to find at least one top secret item before he got to drink his first sip of coffee.

“Bitter. Bitter,” he grunted.

“Oh, I am glad you are doing better, better since you got your coffee,” a cheery Betty Lou said.

“No, it’s bitter, bitter. It tastes too bitter to drink,” he complained.

“Oh, that’s good. I liked what we found at Kohls too,” she giggled.

“What? Where to?” he groaned.

“Let’s try the Mall and then the Avenue and maybe Wal-Mart and Target will be clear. Then we can get a bite of breakfast,” she said ignoring his moans.

Only one stop of a dozen or more and Hammerhaid’s feet were already killing him. It was at Sears he made his next purchase ... for no apparent reason.

“Why are you getting that?” Betty Lou asked.

“It’s a good price,” he moaned.

“What are you going to do with it?” she asked.

“It’s a good price,” he groaned.

“But who are you buying that for?” she asked.

“I don’t know, but it is a good bargain,” he responded. “Where’s the free coffee?”

Three or four stops later, they met other family members for breakfast. It was a long, long wait. At least 45 minutes to get their food, which was nothing fancy. The grumbling was growing angry.

“We’ve got to shop. We don’t have all day. I can’t believe it is taking this long. Oh, the e-mail I am going to write this company and on and on.”

But Hammerhaid didn’t care. He, along with two of the babies, was sleeping. Such bliss!

T-t-t-t-t-t-that’s r-r-right.

Tagged under VOICES

Member Opinions:

By: deeppools on 12/5/08
You can be oh so funny ......You forgot to tell them that then YOU had to go to work for the day! Gesh, I can't wait until the next Black Friday next year!

By: mikewest on 12/5/08
T-t-t-t-t-hat's r-r-r-r-r-r-ight

By: acdsrool on 12/5/08
Well, be assured that I will not be in anyone's way on Black Friday UNLESS there is a race to the couch and TV remote!