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| Hammerhaid: Directional signs give H-haid a head’s up |
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By: MIKE WEST, Managing Editor
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Posted: Sunday, August 30, 2009 8:05 am
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Hammerhaid is one of those guys who’s not so great at giving directions.
(P.S. He’s worse at following them.)
For example, a lady pulled up next to him on the street the other day and asked for directions to Middle Tennessee Medical Center.
He was flummoxed because she had chased him down in a parking lot way away from the hospital. He pondered the question a second and directed her back to Memorial Boulevard, telling her to turn left and look for the big greenish-blue sign with the hospital’s name on it.
“You absolutely cannot miss it,” he told her as she drove off again, headed in the right direction (maybe).
Of course, he would have driven a completely different route up St. Clair Street, zigging and zagging until he reached the hospital in a few blocks.
That’s the advantage to living in the ‘Boro for decades. He knows how to navigate the town.
But, on the other hand, he’s not worth a tinker’s *&^% when it comes to remembering specific directions including street names.
That’s where the Rutherford County Chamber of Commerce’s new (but slightly ugly) street direction signs come in so great.
It’s easy for visitors to find all the local haunts ranging from Stones River National Battlefield to MTSU.
“Just look for the big sign,” Hammerhaid said.
Some 135 directional signs went up in the county to help visitors and residents locate tourist destinations and other landmarks.
It was a project of the Chamber’s Convention & Visitors Bureau, and it took more than a decade to clear Department of Transportation and the Federal Highway Administration roadblocks.
The signs direct motorists to destinations like the York Veterans Administration Hospital, MTSU, Richard Siegel Soccer Complex, the Rutherford County Courthouse, Oaklands Historic House Museum, Stones River National Battlefield, the Sam Davis Home and the Smyrna Airport.
Some folks still gripe a bit about the size and color of the signs, but what the heck.
“It keeps me from getting folks, who ask for directions, lost,” Hammerhaid grinned.
As for the H-haid, he usually manages to avoid getting lost by using a Google or Mapquest computer map. He likes them better than GPS devices for his car, because they don’t talk back.
Of course, there was that recent trip to Chattanooga ...
And Hammerhaid couldn’t even blame his navigational goofs to wife Betty Lou who was “manning” the stack of paper maps.
That map took them back out on the interstate and through a loop of street names before they figured out all they had to do was drive straight from the church to Lookout Mountain.
“Dang! We decided the good folks at MapQuest had created those directions as a warm-up for going up Lookout Mountain,” the H-man laughed.
In case, you’ve never had the experience ... Going up Lookout Mountain is a bit like a nightmare, only to be exceeded by the route down.
It’s a narrow, swervy, very steep road with tight curves and a nightmare for backseat drivers.
Hammerhaid had just launched into a favorite family story about his dad witnessing a car screeching down the mountain with its tires bouncing in front of the car. Yep, the driver had lost them some way or the other.
“Shut up and drive,” Betty Lou said with cold deliberation in her voice.
“But honey, the trip up is the easiest part,” H-haid protested.
“Shut ... UP and pay attention,” she said.
He did, and they made it up the mountain safely and survived the trip down as well.
But the drive would have been easier if Chattanooga had directional signs like the ‘Boro.
“They may by big and ugly, but they sure do work well,” Hammerhaid agreed.
T-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-ight. |
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