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| Hammerhaid: Betty Lou, the 'zookeeper' |
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Posted: Sunday, October 25, 2009 7:13 am
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Betty Lou sometimes finds herself being more of a keeper than a spouse.
A keeper?
Oh, she’s a “keeper,” but she finds herself, from time to time, functioning more as a “zookeeper” keeping Hammerhaid headed in the right direction.
How do we phrase it? Hammerhaid tends to get a bit preoccupied quite often with a different chore than what’s actually facing him at the moment.
“He’s not absent-minded, exactly, it’s more like hmmmm, he gets stupified,” she explains.
“Stupified?”
“Yeah, he gets so preoccupied that he’s bewildered, bemused, amazed and confused,” she explained.
“He’s not stupefied like the dictionary would say, he’s stupid-fied.”
Guess you have to know him to understand the difference?
Here’s an example from Betty Lou....
“Quite often, he drives me to work. It’s a habit that just makes sense. We have to be at work at the same time and almost at the same place. He just zips into the driveway and lets me out. It is simple as pie ... except some days.
“Like Wednesday, he was motoring down the road and I wasn’t paying too much attention until he zipped right by my office. Next thing I know, he’s pulling into the parking lot of a nearby fast-food restaurant.
“I cleared my throat and he jumped like I had fired off a shot. He didn’t have much to say when I asked him where he was going either. He just said, ‘uh-h-h-h-h,’ circled the parking lot and headed right back to my office like nothing had happened,” she said.
Naturally, Hammerhaid had an explanation.
“I hadn’t had any breakfast and I just saw a TV commercial for that particular restaurant before we headed out the door,” he explained.
Actually, or as Betty Lou would say, “ACTUALLY,” H-haid had already had his usual breakfast of fruit, hot, black coffee, peanut butter on toast and a cup of Cheerios.
That was before he got to thinking about a fried bologna biscuit with egg and cheese, fried potatoes and a large sugar-free (of course) Coke.
Yup, that second breakfast of the morning was weighing a little heavy on his brain.
Fortunately, Betty Lou kept him on the right path that morning. Even if she didn’t have the slightest clue of what he had in mind.
Of course, when he pulled into the drive through, she did have a glimmer despite his deer-in-the-headlight expression.
“Were you going to Hardee’s?” she asked as he jetted back toward her office.
“Hardee’s? Uh, no, I was just turning round, uh,” he stammered.
An instant later he was already preoccupied with another random thought, but Betty Lou’s mind was fixed on his near miss. So preoccupied that he nearly missed the turnoff to her office ... but fortunately he made the turn.
He made it back to the office in time to swill down some coffee before the workday started. He never thought of his earlier near miss at all.
Of course, the near-miss bugged Betty Lou all day. Consequently, she had a number of questions ready when he picked her up that afternoon.
The first one nearly made him swerve off the road.
“Do you go to Hardee’s every morning?” she asked innocently.
“Uh, no,” he stammered.
Despite the truth, the way he answered made her doubt his statement. The last time he had been to Hardee’s was a couple of Saturdays ago with Betty Lou in tow. And before that, he hadn’t been to Hardee’s in months.
“Did you go back when you dropped me off?” she asked.
“Did I go where?” he asked as his brain slipped back into another world.
“To Hardee’s?” she asked, rather pointedly.
“No!” he asked, swerving a bit again.
“I never go, so stop asking about it,” he insisted with a “hurt” tone in his voice.
“Oh, OK, I was just checking because of your diet,” she answered apologetically.
And the matter was dropped.
Until Thursday when Hammerhaid dropped Betty Lou off at work and made a beeline to Hardee’s for that baloney biscuit.
T-t-t-t-that’s r-r-r-r-r-r-right. |
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