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Good manners ALWAYS begin at home

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By: MICHELLE WILLARD, Post Staff Writer

Posted: Sunday, June 7, 2009 7:41 am

Good manners ALWAYS begin at home | Family First, Sherri Darnell, Melanie Shipp

Against his mother's wishes, Liam Tate Elam, 9, plays with his spaghetti at Puleo's Grill. TMP/Michelle Willard

Sitting next to a screaming child in a restaurant is never a good way to spend a quiet evening out.

Bad manners can ruin any evening.

According to local etiquette experts, good manners begin at home and it’s never too early to start.

“You’re child is not in charge, you are,” etiquette maven Melanie Shipp said. “It is the parent’s responsibility to teach them and show them how to act in a restaurant.

“Practice good manners at home,” she continued, “that way you always have a pleasant experience when you’re eating out.”

For 10 years, Shipp has shown Murfreesboro debutantes how to be a lady.

She focuses on etiquette basics, like table manners, conversation skills and newer etiquette tips, like what not to put on a Facebook page.

She explained her rules of manners come from the queen, Emily Post.

“I do not make any of these things up,” she said.

Shipp’s first tip to raising a polite child is beginning at home.

“What you do at home is what will happen in the restaurant. It becomes a habit,” she said.

It all boils down to one simple axiom: Be respectful of others.

“They (children) should always be aware of those around them,” said Sherri Darnell, director of the Rutherford County Chapter of the Junior Cotillion.

Shipp added a few age markers for how polite children behave.

At 6 years old, children should know to place napkin in their lap and eat when everyone else does.

At 9 years old, children should be able to have a polite conversation without any extra attention.

Both Darnell and Shipp agree, it doesn’t matter if the child is at B. McNeel’s or Chucky Cheese, there are these simple rules to follow:

- Don’t eat with your elbows on the table.

- Chew with your mouth closed.

- Don’t bang on the table with silverware.

- Don’t kick the table or booth.

- Don’t burp or snort.

- Don’t stare at other diners.

- Stay seated while eating.

- No roaming the restaurant.

- Use utensils and a napkin.

- Always use ‘inside’ voice.

And for older children:

- Don’t wear a hat at the table.

- Don’t touch up make-up at the table.

- Don’t talk on cell phone/text during dinner.

“Regardless of the restaurant, all their table manners should remain the same,” Darnell added.

Cell Phones

Talking on a phone or texting while at a restaurant is a pet peeve of both Shipp and Darnell.

Darnell said phones should be set to silent as a courtesy to other diners, both those at the same table and those at surrounding tables.

“It’s a courtesy that we should extend to every one,” she said.

“The call should not be more important than who we are with,” Darnell continued. “Children should not be texting, or parents either. For 30 minutes at a fast food restaurant or one hour at a formal restaurant, we should make the people we are with the most important thing.”

If an important phone call is expected, the proper thing to do is let everyone know, excuse yourself and take the call in private, because it’s considerate of those around you.

At Upscale Restaurants

Shipp warns against taking young children to fine dining establishments.

“If you want to take your child, consider it twice because your evening may be cut short,” she said.

Children often get bored between courses and act out, she explained.

She suggests letting them nap before hand and give them a snack to tide them over through longer meals.

“If you want to expose your children to fine dining then be prepared,” she said.

Shipp suggested using a small, quiet toy to entertain young children.

“Toys are fine as long as they aren’t loud or disturb others,” she said.

Shipp recommends quietly correcting bad behavior and a stern talking to, away from others, if the behavior continues.

“Other diners shouldn’t be disturbed by an unruly child and their lazy, inconsistent parents,” Shipp said.

Should a child become upset and act out, both ladies recommend taking the child outside or to the restroom to calm down, Darnell said.

“As parents, we should be aware our child’s tone or behavior should not affect those around us,” she said.

But remember good behavior starts at home.

“Manners begin at home,” Shipp said. “It just takes repetition and patience. Let them know what you expect.”

Michelle Willard can be contacted at 615-869-0816 or mwillard@murfreesboropost.com.

Tagged under Family First, Melanie Shipp, Sherri Darnell

Member Opinions:

By: Spit0414 on 6/8/09
It is revolting to see how parents let children behave in restaurants. I remember not too long ago when we had our 6 and 9 year old girls at Burger King, at the table across the aisle, at least 6 parents walked up and couldn't believe how well behaved they were.

Eating, conversing quietly between themselves, entertaining themselves with their kids meal toys until everyone was done eating. When did that become non standard? When did 7 year olds being the center of attention at every meal start?

When did parents abandon their responsibility to raise mannered children? It has made nearly 60% of our meals at restaurants of all levels a painful experience.

If you can't have your children behave in public, stay at home with them!!!

By: beamer on 6/8/09
Here, Here!!!!!

By: justdance on 6/10/09

and amen......!