DR. KESTNER: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? on The Murfreesboro Post

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DR. KESTNER: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

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By: DR. MARK KESTNER, Post Columnist

Posted: Thursday, July 26, 2012 12:00 am

That has to be one of the most powerful questions ever asked.

Without fear of failure we can accomplish amazing things.

My daughter Ellie got to ride her new bike a few days ago.

Equipped with training wheels and pink streamers, her magnificent machine stood ready to transport her to lands beyond the familiar confines of the driveway where she has played for the past four years.

As we tentatively entered the cul-de-sac Ginny and I helped her learn to pedal forward to go then reverse the foot action to stop.

She was obviously fearful, but determined as she tried again and again to coordinate pedaling forward at the same time that she used the handlebars to steer.

After about 10 minutes, she exclaimed excitedly, “I can do it. I CAN DO IT!”

One of the greatest joys of being a parent is seeing your child discover new abilities.

Her voice communicated a mix of accomplishment, pride and surprise.

Only minutes earlier, although she felt a strong desire to master this new pink beauty, her fear and intimidation threatened to restrain her pursuit. In the end, the desire was strong enough to overcome her reservations.

After she had completed a few trips up and down the street, I started to direct her back toward the garage.

She stopped me before we reached the driveway and stood astride her bike for a moment.

“Wait. I want to see something,” she said.

Curious, I asked what she wanted to see.

Without hesitation she said, “The world.”

I felt a smile erupting across my face as I realized that is exactly what I would want her to aspire to.

It was exciting for me to realize my daughter owns a natural desire to see and experience everything possible.

You may not remember feeling that kind of triumph and unrestricted ambition, but you almost certainly have felt it at some point in your life.

We all have.

At one point in our lives we all had to overcome fear of falling in order to learn to walk.

Our desire to gain the freedom of movement to be found in walking exceeded the annoyance and pain of the many stumbles we endured as we accomplished our goal.

We faced many obstacles and succeeded.

We may not have said it aloud, but we probably felt like shouting, “I can do it!”

As we grew older we tended to become more intimidated by the fears in life.

During adolescence fear of failure began to play a major role in our decisions.

By our teens most of us had learned to avoid the humiliation of doing or saying things that others might ridicule.

Once a person is affected by fear, they take fewer chances.

Likewise, if a person’s sense of desire is inhibited, they can be intimidated by obstacles more easily.

Either of these circumstances can keep a person from achieving their full potential.

Our culture is saturated with people that have settled for a much less ambitious life than they are capable of.

It’s it possible that you fall into that category?

Take a look back at the question that initiated this column: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Would you start a business?

Find a way to meet a personal hero?

Pursue an advanced educational degree?

Change careers?

Start a program to help others?

Take your hobby or pastime to the next level?

Somewhere inside you may have a desire to accomplish something that I could never imagine.

Don’t wait for someone else to lead you.

If you begin with the same intensity that drove you to learn how to walk and to ride a bike for the first time, you will certainly find your way to success.

You will certainly face obstacles, just as you fell on your rear so many times when you took your first steps.

Just keep remembering, success is getting up one more time than you fall down.

Tagged under Dr Mark Kestner, Fail, Fear, Health Care, Living Well

Member Opinions:

By: ale3c_mtsu_s12 on 7/27/12
I would personally take a lot more chances in life than I do now if I knew I couldn’t fail. I would be able to confidently pursue any career path or lifestyle I wanted knowing that I would achieve it without a doubt. Unfortunately, that’s not reality. Failure is a part of life that everyone experiences. I’m not saying that one can’t confidently pursue their dreams and achieve them; it’s just they’re going to have to experience some failures along the way in doing so. Or maybe they’ll fail on their dream entirely. That’s what’s so scary about failure. Failures can cause setbacks, take a hit to one’s confidence, etc. It is easier to live a life where you don’t take too many chances because you won’t experience failure as much, but you also won’t grow as a person. The important thing is to learn to accept failure and to learn from it to avoid future mistakes.