Dr. Mark Kestner, Post Columnist
Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2008 9:00 am

A young lady was in the office recently. She mentioned that she had cut back on all of her expenditures except basic essentials.

“I don’t go out and spend all kinds of money like my friends do anymore. I got behind on my credit card payments, and they kept letting me make minimum payments as my debt grew larger each month. I came to my senses when I realized I owed more than I make in a month! I realized that it would be very hard to pay down this debt without help. My parents agreed to help me only if I cut up the cards and started saving money. I argued with them but later realized that they were right, and I am thankful I got out before I got in too deep. I’m actually having more fun now without getting into money trouble. I have almost paid my parents back.”

Living well is a matter of balance. Overall wellbeing depends upon emotional, physical and spiritual health, relationships, financial management, sense of purpose and accomplishment, as well as external environmental factors. It is not healthy or satisfying to be very strong in only a few areas of life. Wellbeing really depends on balancing all aspects of your life.

At first glance, it might appear that financial crisis arises from external factors, such as the job market, gas prices, food prices, housing costs, utility fees and other things that are beyond our control. This is accurate up to a point. Obviously, when the price of everything increases and the paycheck doesn’t, a financial crisis could be looming.

The cost of life is not the only factor to be considered, however. There are other aspects of this dilemma that are dependent upon you. The two primary things you can control are the amount of money that you bring in and the spending choices you make.

One of the most outspoken, entertaining, and helpful financial experts is Tennessee’s own Dave Ramsey. Ramsey is the author of “Financial Peace” and creator of “Total Money Makeover” program. While there are many columnists, talk-show hosts and other experts that expound on money matters, Ramsey includes discussions about something powerful and unique ... how our emotions affect our finances.

Our emotions drive everything we do, whether we are aware of it or not. It is our emotions that advertisers stimulate to make us want items in the first place. Emotions prompt us to spend money like our friends do. It is emotions that credit card companies manipulate to enslave millions of consumers to credit debt that is nearly impossible to pay off. When our emotions are activated, we internally twist the logic of a situation to rationalize it.

Ramsey’s self-rescue plan is actually pretty simple. First, stop spending money you don’t have and cut up all the credit cards. Second, make a real spending plan on paper to account for everything you spend. Third, put aside a specific amount of money for emergencies. Fourth, find ways to increase your income, even if it means selling unnecessary items or taking a part-time job. Fifth, start paying off the outrageous debts that have taken over your life and keep paying them off until you are literally debt-free.

The personal satisfaction of living debt-free is enormous. By breaking the emotional bonds of living in debt, former debtors feel a sense of power and confidence about the future.

If you think about it, living in credit card debt is essentially living a lie. We are lying to ourselves and others as well as to our children. We tell ourselves we are better off financially than we really are. We allow ourselves to continue to purchase things that we don’t have the money to pay for. The biggest lie is that we will have more money next month or next year. Even if that is true, we will also likely have bigger expenses next year so we will fall farther behind.

Next week an expert’s explanation of how even poor people can begin to accumulate money for the future. In the meantime, take a long, hard look at those credit cards.

Dr. Mark Kestner
mkestner@DrKestner.com