Welcome Visitor
Today is Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Case of sleepy defendant defies logic

Comment   Email   Print
Related Articles
It could be called the sleepyhead defense.

An airplane passenger went bonkers, pitched a fit and has to be restrained, yet afterward was found not guilty by reason of insomnia.

His attorney claimed that lack of sleep prompted the erratic behavior.

It could set a dreamy precedent for defense lawyers and become a nightmare for prosecutors.

It’s easy to see where it could lead to:

Defense attorney: “Your honor, my client hadn’t enjoyed a good night’s rest in days, which clearly explains why he robbed the neighborhood store, mugged two little old ladies, hijacked an airliner, and kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.”

Judge: “Case dismissed. And I advise your client to get some shuteye.”

Or a burglar pleads his case: “There I was, peacefully snoring away, when the neighbor’s mutt started barking sometime around midnight and woke me up. Unable to go back to sleep, I got up, got dressed and – still drowsy – went next door and burglarized his house.”

Tossing and turning leads to breaking and entering.

Welcome to goodnight court.

Imagine one of a lurid tabloid headline reading, "Cops on lookout for sleepwalker slasher” or "Sleepy the dwarf mugs 6 co-workers.”

There was a time when going without sleep merely made you grouchy. Now, apparently, it can make you a felon.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation's most wanted list could be sponsored by No-Doze.

There could be a new national crime-prevention slogan that reads, "Be a snoozer, not a loser.” Perhaps, "No rest can mean arrest" would be a better slogan.

Could we have stumbled onto the solution to the nation’s soaring crime rate: a glass of warm milk before bedtime?

Remember, when one way to fall asleep was to count sheep?

Now, if one’s missing we know where to look.

Frankly, I’m a tad suspicious about the latest excuse for criminal behavior. I suspect that if defense attorneys use the goodnight alibi too much they – and their dozing desperadoes – are in for a rude awakening.

Then again, who knows?

When all else fails, a sleep-deprived criminal can hire himself a shrewd lullaby lawyer and perhaps beat the rap.

What’ll it be – 40 winks or 40 years? I'm assuming the criminal would chose 40 winks, your honor.

Maybe a new verse to an old song would be fitting: “Mr. Sandman, bring me reprieve.”
Read more from:
Culture, Larry Woody, Politics, Voices
Comment   Email   Print
Powered by Bondware
News Publishing Software

The browser you are using is outdated!

You may not be getting all you can out of your browsing experience
and may be open to security risks!

Consider upgrading to the latest version of your browser or choose on below: