When Amy Nance’s husband, Tom, died of a cerebral hemorrhage two years ago, she didn’t know how she would handle the loss, much less how her three children would adjust to his death.
But then she found Alive Hospice’s Camp Forget-Me-Not, a day camp for bereaved children, in Murfreesboro.
Nance’s children, Wesley, 9, Tommy, 6, and Haley, 12, have all attended the camp for kids aged 6-14 years, who have lost a loved one.
“When they remember their daddy, they don’t get sad, like I do …,” she said “Most of their comments are positive and good memories and good thoughts and that has been helpful for me. They don’t dwell on not having him.”
At Camp Forget-Me-Not, grieving children and teens – like Nance’s children – develop healthy coping skills through group activities and interaction with other children. Trained grief counselors and volunteers lead the camp for kids from Bedford, Cannon, Coffee, DeKalb and Rutherford counties.
Haley said losing her dad was hard, but since she went to the camp, she’s learned how to deal with her feelings and cope with her loss.
“The camp was good for the kids … to help them understand the feelings that they are having and how to express those feelings,” Nance said.
Camp Director Pam Quaintance said the camp helps kids “tell their story.
“But the most important thing is them realizing they’re not alone.”
Quaintance said grieving can be an isolating process, and the campers meet other kids who are also dealing with loss.
“You get to meet all these people who know how you feel,” Haley explained, “and make new friends you can talk to.”
The campers learn to express themselves through activities, like making masks with plaster, memory boxes for keepsakes that remind them of their lost loved one and the “Change Tree”.
“Kids process their world through play,” Quaintance said, adding the counselors use any way they can to get the children to open up. And the activities also teach the campers how to process their emotions.
For example, they use the Change Tree, which is decorated with construction paper leaves representing the things that have changed since the loved one has died, to talk about change and the cycle of life.
But Quaintance’s, and Haley’s, favorite part of camp is the butterfly release.
“At the end of the week, they give you a butterfly and you whisper a message to the butterfly and the butterfly takes the message to your loved one,” Haley said.
Quaintance said it is “just a wonderful symbolic event that’s meaningful for kids and counselors.”
The camp may help grieving kids, but it also helps parents, too, Nance said.
“One of things I can universally say is, when parents have a child that’s lost someone they love, they worry,” Quaintance said.
Nance worried about her kids, but, in the end, they helped her with the grieving process.
“They’ve helped me …” she said. “I think my kids themselves helped me.”
Haley and her brothers now remember the good times they had with their father, she said.
Michelle Willard can be contacted at 615-869-0816 or mwillard@murfreesboropost.com.
More information …
Call Camp Forget-Me-Not Director Pam Quaintance at 615-907-1677
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