At sewing class a couple of weeks before Christmas, someone asked one of my friends what she was giving her grandchildren.
“I know what they want, but I’m not giving it to them: They all want iPads,” she said.
The children were all different ages, and initially, I shared her opinion. But after I thought about it, I realized: Why wouldn’t every child who has been introduced to an iPad want one?
They are exposed to them by teachers, use them as learning tools in schools, play with those of their parents, grandparents and friends, see them on display in stores, etc.
When there is a device that almost literally opens the world at their fingertips, who wouldn’t want one?
Then I thought of how difficult it must be to raise children in this day and age, especially when one has limited financial means.
I lament frequently that I only have one grandchild.
But when I told one of my friends that once she said, “What do you spend your money on?”
And I realized she was right.
Because I sew so much for my granddaughter, Jeanne, I do not feel a need to indulge her with other material gifts.
For one thing, she has everything she could possibly want (don’t they all?) and for another thing she lives in a very small apartment.
Because her two strollers, baby crib, youth bed and “play stove” take up so much room (not to mention her “pretend” doll crib, her “pretend” stroller, etc), every object that comes into their living space must be assessed for its practicality.
And few make the cut.
For Christmas, her mother’s wish list for her consisted of: toy cash register and “play food.”
It later included a “pretend” camera that cost $29.99 from Bed Bath & Beyond, which we sent.
And as always, the photos they mailed showed her playing in the box with foam peanuts containing everything.
That is what she really liked.
Which leads me to the conundrum of how much harder it must be to raise children when one’s means are limited.
I am glad my children were never at an age where I had to decide if they should receive cell phones, iPads, iPods or iPod Touch, although ironically, I have given them iPod Touches over the past couple of years.
Because I love my iPhone so much, I wanted to share the experience with them. And because they were limited by phone contracts, and probably finances, they were unable to spring for iPhones.
So, I gave them iPod Touches so that they could enjoy many of the benefits without the hitch.
I further think that one of the reasons I gave them those is because I had so little when I grew up that I could have never have had such indulgences, and basically, I want them have things I couldn’t.
When they were younger and we couldn’t afford everything they wanted, I would say to Tommy, “I wish they could have that.”
He would say, “Did you have that when you were younger?”
My reply was always, “No, of course not. We couldn’t afford it.”
“You did fine without it. ... They can too,” he’d say.
Then when they got old enough to earn their own money, by babysitting or whatever, I could tell when they really wanted something because I told them I’d pay for half if they earned the other half.
In cases where they were willing to pay half, I knew they really wanted it, and they almost always found a way to contribute their part.
I’ve often said there aren’t any best-selling handbooks out there on how to raise children because no one really has any
answers.
But I would surely be looking for guidance if I had to raise teenagers these days.
That’s why God gives them to the young, they say.
‘Til next week. |
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